183. Did You Actually Choose This Life? Or Did You Just Do What Was Expected?

The difference between real choice, and expectations, validation and approval masquerading as choice.

This episode wasn't planned.

Laurie Reynoldson was out on a hike when something clicked — an idea she'd never quite heard articulated before, about the nature of the choices we think we've been making. She scrapped the scheduled guest episode and recorded this one instead. And it might be one of the most honest things she's put into the world.

Two big ideas live in this episode. The first: midlife has no age requirement...and the women who think they've missed it almost certainly haven't. The second: most of the choices we made in the first half of our lives weren't really choices at all. They were expectations, dressed up as freedom.

Both ideas are worth sitting with. A lot.

What we cover:

• Why Laurie scrapped her planned episode to record this one — and why the hike that inspired it might be the most productive thing she did all week
• The messages that genuinely make her sad: women in their 50s, 60s, and 70s who think they've missed midlife
• Why age is the wrong way to think about midlife — and why the woman listening to this podcast right now, regardless of her age, is almost certainly still in it
• The mathematical midpoint of a woman's life in the United States: late 30s, early 40s
• Brené Brown's quote about midlife — and where Laurie respectfully disagrees
• Her 93-year-old mother-in-law, dementia, and what actually marks the end of midlife: the loss of capacity for self-determination
• Why midlife ends not at a number, but when you stop learning, stop having new experiences, and stop being able to make decisions about your own life
• The woman in her late 50s who wrote to say she thinks she missed her chance — and what Laurie wants her to hear
• The big uncomfortable question: did we actually make choices in the first half of our lives, or were we just doing what was expected of us?
• The appearance of choice: how expectations, approval-seeking, and validation shape what look like free decisions
• The first job example: was it actually a choice, or was it a script installed before you were old enough to question it?
• The body example: how genes, work obligations, perimenopause, and biology complicate the idea that how we look is simply a result of our choices
• Hobson's choice: what it means when something looks like a choice but the freedom isn't really there
• The marriage example: choosing a partner at an age before fully knowing yourself, inside societal expectations about timelines and what it means to be chosen
• Why none of this makes us victims — but why it might explain why life doesn't always feel like ours
• Why asking "is this really what I wanted?" at 2am is not a sign that something is wrong — it's a sign that you're finally asking the right question, maybe for the first time
• The reframe: midlife as the first real opportunity most women have ever had to make actual choices — fully informed, eyes open, from a place of genuine self-knowledge
• Why the woman arriving at this question in her late 50s is arriving with something she didn't have at 35: she knows what didn't work, what she suppressed, and what the yardstick cost her
• What Laurie's coaching actually does — and what it doesn't do
• A genuine ask: Laurie wants to hear your thoughts on this idea. This one is still forming, and your response matters.
• Update on The New Midlife — 40,000 words in, still writing, and this episode is part of the process

Quotable moments

"You've just been too busy life-ing. That's different than missing an opportunity completely."

"What closed the window for my mother-in-law wasn't her age. It was the loss of the capacity for self-determination."

"So long as you are continuing to learn new things and have new experiences, I believe you're still in midlife."

"It's the appearance of choice, dressed up in a lot of expectation."

"That choice is cloaked in expectations and validation and approval. It seems like it's really less about choice and free will than living up to a yardstick put in front of us by how we were raised."

"'Choice' is generous. Because I don't think it was free choice."

"Yes, it looks like a choice — but when you peel back the layers, you realize there was never really any choice there at all. It was made for us."

"It might explain why your life doesn't feel like your own."

"There is no age limit on asking these questions."

Laurie's ask for this episode

This idea is still forming. Laurie genuinely wants to hear from you:

Did the choices you made in the first half of your life feel like real choices? Or did they feel more like living up to expectations?

→ Send her an email
→ DM on Instagram

Resources + links mentioned

• Apply for the BEST LIFE Mastermind — applications close July 31
• Book a 15-minute call with Laurie

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Transcript

Speaker 2 0:07

Real quick, before we get into today's episode, I wanna talk to you about the Best Life Mastermind. For years, the coaching industry has given high-achieving women a choice, invest in your career or invest in your life, executive coaching or life coaching, leadership at work or clarity at home, as if our lives were separated into two different parts. Here's what nobody has said out loud. You cannot separate the leader from the life she's living. If she's burned out at home, she's gonna be burned out at work. If she doesn't know what she wants from her life, then she doesn't fully know what she wants from her career either. The Best Life Mastermind is built on a different premises, personal leadership development for the whole woman. Because the clearest, most fulfilled, most purposeful version of you, she shows up everywhere: at work, at home, in every room you walk into. I want to invite you to join me as a founding member in the Best Life Mastermind. Here's what's included. Two in-person luxury retreats at award-winning destinations, Sun Valley, Idaho in September and the incredible Civana Wellness Resort Spa in Arizona in February. All accommodations, meals, and spa appointments will be included. Monthly personal leadership coaching calls and an intimate private community of like-minded women doing this work together, hosted off of social media and away from the noise. Nine months, 10 women, two in-person retreats, monthly coaching calls, everything included except your travel. Applications open right now. Click the link in the show notes Now, let's get into today's episode.

1:53

Hey, friends. Welcome back to another episode of the School of Midlife Podcast. I'm your host, Laurie Reynoldson. I am so glad you're here today If you follow me on social media, you might have seen that this episode is not the one I had planned to drop today. In fact, I have episodes edited and ready to go for the next couple of weeks. There was gonna be a guest episode that dropped today, but I was out on my hike yesterday, and I had this epiphany. I... Just something that I had never really thought about before, but it's interesting how when I am out for a walk or on a hike in the morning, that's when I do my very best thinking. It's kinda like being in the shower, right? Where you can really be puzzling over an issue or a question, and then the minute you stop thinking about it, the, the minute you start doing something else, all of a sudden you have all this clarity. Well, the same thing happens to me when I'm out on my walks. And it occurred to me that what we're gonna talk about today, I've never really heard anyone talk about how we get to the point where we get in our lives in quite the same way that I'm gonna talk about today. Before we get there, though, I wanna start this episode a little differently than usual. I wanna start by talking about something that makes me genuinely I get messages all the time, more than you can even imagine, from women who reach out to me and say that they love what I'm talking about, they love the idea of The School of Midlife, but they are in their 50s, their 60s, their early 70s, and they are not midlife. They wish that there was something pointing them in the direction that The School of Midlife is pointing people into at this point, but they wish that they would've found me when they were younger. Because when they see The School of Midlife, they believe that they have passed midlife. That this whole idea of the opportunity of midlife, that that's gone. They spent decades of their life in their late 50s and 60s and 70s stuck in these routines, right? So their normal life. And what happens is you get to a certain point in life and you realize you've just been too busy life-ing. And what these women feel like is that they have missed the opportunity to design and live their life in a different way They believe that they're too old. They think that they are past midlife. And I'm gonna talk about why that assumption is incorrect. Because I, I wanna say this as clearly as possible, I don't believe that this is a missed opportunity at all. N- not even close. That's where I wanna start today's episode, because this whole question of when midlife begins, when it ends, what it actually means to have a choice about the life you're living, those are the questions I want you to sit with today, because I've been thinking about them a lot lately, and, and so much when I was on my hike today. I think you're going to relate to a lot more of this than you might think. And you know what? If you are in your late 30s or your early 40s and you're like, "Well, what women in their 50s, 60s, and 70s are thinking about, that doesn't apply to me," oh, no, no, no, no, you would be sorely mistaken. There... I, I, I think you're gonna really relate to a lot more of what I have to say in this episode than you might expect. So let's, let's get into it. If you've been around here for a while, you know that I believe that midlife is a phase, right? We've, we've been conditioned, we've been taught that you are in midlife if you are in your 40s and 50s. The average lifespan for a woman in the United States is 78.8 years, and it's going down. So if we just mathematically look at it, the midpoint of your life would be in your late 30s, early 40s, okay? That's average. Of course, there are going to be people who don't get as much time. There are gonna be people who wildly exceed 78.8 years. This is just an average, okay? When we talk about what does it mean to be in midlife, I want you to understand that I don't believe that there is one date. I mean, we talk about adolescence, we talk about adulthood, we talk about old age. Those aren't specific ages, are they? They are periods of our life, just like midlife is. Regardless of when it begins, I also don't believe that there's really a top end to it. Here's what I mean by that. Brené Brown has a quote about midlife that I've shared before, and it's, I, I don't remember the exact words, but the idea is that midlife It begins whenever it begins and goes to nearly the end of your life. Okay. I believe that Partially. Because here's, here's what I've been... Here's what's going on in my life. I've been watching my 93-year-old mother-in-law suffer with dementia. She is not in midlife. So this whole idea that midlife, you know, essentially begins when it begins, and it goes to the end of your life, I don't believe that, especially not after watching my 93-year-old mother-in-law. She's absolutely not in midlife. She can't even remember to flush the toilet at this point. So the idea that she would be thinking about what's next for her or what opportunities might lie ahead, no. I mean, she doesn't remember her husband. She doesn't remember her sons. She is not in midlife. But I think there's an important distinction to make because when I talk about midlife having no real upper boundary, I mean that in the context of a woman who still has access to herself. Does that make sense? A woman who can still make decisions, and form intentions, and take action, and experience the results of that action. That's the window. Said another way, so long as you are continuing to learn new things and have new experiences, I believe that you're still in midlife. When you stop learning, when you decide you don't want to go anywhere or do anything, y- you know, you just kinda... Either because you can't physically do it or you can't mentally do it, you're, you know, you are aged and you're winding down. I don't know how else to say that, but that's not midlife. I also know that the women who are listening to this podcast right now, regardless of whatever age you are, I'm gonna paint you with the midlife crayon. Because the fact that you are interested in what we talk about here every week, week after week, for the last three and a half years, that's why you're here, because you can relate to what I'm talking about. That means you're in midlife. Can we just throw the whole idea of age away as it relates to midlife? I wanna say to, to the woman in her late 50s who recently wrote to tell me that she thinks she's missed her chance at living the life that she wants to live, I gotta tell you, that window is still open. I recently was talking to a woman in her early 60s. She waited to have kids. She was focused on her career. She waited to have kids. They are finally starting to launch, and she believes it's too late for her. The window's open for her, too. Even the woman in her early 70s who is sharp and healthy and curious and has more energy than women half her age-- if you play tennis or pickleball, you've probably seen her on the court, and you probably wonder why she's kicking your ass because she's much older than you are-- she can still technically be in midlife because it's all about curiosity and wanting to learn things and having energy and wanting to do things, have new experiences. What closed the window for my mother-in-law wasn't her age. It was the loss of the capacity for self-determination. Do you understand what I'm saying? Because she couldn't think for herself, fend for herself, no more midlife for her. She was probably in midlife until her mid 80s. She was highly enthusiastic. She liked to travel She always wanted to meet people. She liked hosting PEO parties and meetings at her hou- I mean, this is a woman that was full of life well into her 80s. She's not anymore. So she's, she's not in midlife anymore. The window has closed for her. But for the rest of us, if you've been telling yourself that you missed this window, that, you know, the train has left the station, that you weren't on it, I want you to hear this directly. You're not too late. You didn't miss your opportunity. Sure, you've been busy life-ing. That's different than missing an opportunity completely, 'cause life happened, you were living it, and now maybe for the first time, you have the space, and the clarity, and the permission if you give yourself the permission, to ask what you actually want in this season of life. I don't think that's a door that's closed. I don't think that's a window that's closed. I think that is an opportunity that has just opened. I'm gonna shift gears a little bit here because relating to this is something that I've been sitting with, something I've, I've really been wrestling with for a while now, and I... Don't get me wrong, I do not have all the answers yet, which is actually part of why I wanted to talk about this today. But here's the idea. We are told, and, and on some level I do believe this, but we're told that our lives are the culmination of all the choices that we've made. Think about that. Where to live, who to marry, where to go to school, what to study, where to take that first job, whether to eat the dessert. Like, all of it is rooted in choice. I get that. I also get that our lives didn't just happen to us, right? I mean, I, I believe that. I've coached from that premise. I've built an entire body of work on the idea that you have agency, and you just need to actually exercise that agency, to give yourself permission to exercise that agency, to step out of being a passive participant in your life and actually make some decisions. But make them from the person that you are today who is shaping the life you wanna be living five, 10, 20 years from now, not the person you were in your early 20s when you were making these big pivotal decisions about your life. I still believe all of that. Here's one I've been struggling with a little lately, though. It's the, it's this appearance of choice dressed up in a lot of expectation. Think about that. The appearance of us having the ability to make a choice in our life, but it is dressed up, shrouded, covered in expectations. That's what I wanna talk about today because I think it's important. I think, honestly, you're really going to recognize a lot of yourself in it because I've... The conversations I've been having, with women lately, they're, they're finally tumbling to this concept. Not, not exactly. I feel like we're, we're kind of nibbling around the edges a little bit, but let's talk about expectations. Let's talk about this whole idea that your life is the product of all your choices because I really want to dive into whether that is true or whether we really had choices at all, or if we were just doing what was expected of us. For instance, let's start with the first job, right? Or the first career, that, that path you went down right out of school. I don't know about you, but I, looking back, I feel like I had a choice about my first job. But if I think about it, in the back of my mind, and for some of us, it wasn't even the back of our mind. I mean, it was front and center. It was the thing that we were focused on. There was this idea that we had to get out of school as quickly as possible and start making money. That hard work is the way you get ahead. And most of us learn that from our parents or our grandparents, and we, we were raised with this work ethic, right? That was instilled in us which we interpreted to believe graduate and get to work. Start making money right away. You don't have time to study abroad or take a gap year. You need to get to work right away because hard work is how you make money, and that's how you get ahead. Does this sound familiar? Does this resonate with you? Did you experience that? Because for me and for many of the women that I have talked to recently or that I've had the privilege of coaching, I feel like that's the script, and it's been running in the background of every decision, whether we knew it or not. But every decision that we've made about our professional lives. Think about it: That first job, was it your dream job? Was it in your dream city? Was it with your dream firm? Or did they pay the most? They made you an offer, they paid you the most money. Is that a choice? Is that a choice when everything that you were raised with, all of that programming, all of that conditioning is based on what was expected of us? Was rooted in approval and validation seeking. I don't know. I, i- is that a choice? That's what I've been grappling with. I do feel like maybe we did have the choice for that second or third job that we took. That first one, probably not so much. And maybe not even the second or third one. Because so much of that choice or what we have understood to be choice, the thing that got us to where we are today, the choices that we made that became essentially the life we're living. If that choice is cloaked in expectations and validation and approval, It seems like it's really less about choice and free will than it is to living up to a yardstick put in front of us by how we were raised. Did we choose a job? Technically, yes. Technically, yes. We said, "I will take the job." Was it a free choice? I don't think so. I'm not so sure. I've never really thought about this before, but the more I think about it Choice is generous. Because I don't think it was free choice. I think it was us living up to the expectations that were placed upon us and our need for validation and approval. What do you think? Here, here's another example, one that could land even harder because it's very personal, and that's our bodies. You know, we hear that the way our bodies look, uh, is the product of the choices that we make. What did we eat? You know, are we working out? Did we dive into the bread bowl or skip it completely? Did we go to the gym this morning or did we decide to sleep in? Of course, our choices are going to influence how our body looks, how it operates. I'm not gonna pretend otherwise that there isn't a component there, that what we choose every day matters, compounds, results in how we look and how our body feels from a health perspective. But none of that factors in the genes we were born with or The work obligations that demanded we skip lunch or eat from the vending machine because there wasn't time for anything else. The biology of an aging woman and how weight oftentimes when it's left to its own devices is going to redistribute itself naturally. The perimenopause and menopausal hormonal shifts that no one warned us about, and honestly, no amount of willpower fully overrides. Choices, yes. Choices, sure. But are they actual choices? I k- I keep coming back to this. I think that there's something called a Hobson's choice. I might be getting the name slightly wrong. But it's this idea that there appears to be a choice, but it's not really a choice at all. It has the appearance of choice, the form of choice, but when you pull back the curtain and you look at what's actually shaping the decision, there is no choice because there is no freedom. It's not a choice. Hobson's choice. And where I keep coming back to is I feel like so much of what we have called choices, especially those made in the first half of our lives, they're not really choices at all. They fall into that category where, yes, it looks like a choice. You know, it's a whole thing of if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it probably is a duck. That's different here because, yes, it looks like a choice, but when you peel back the layers, you realize that there was never really any choice there at all. It was made for us. Is this making sense? Think about it this way. We chose our major in college. But for many of us, we chose from a list of options our parents approved of in a culture that valued certain kinds of work over others with a set of beliefs about what smart, responsible women do, right? That programming was all handed to us before we were old enough to question it. So yes, we chose our major, but was there really a choice there? Same with our partners. Think about this. For many of us, we chose who we were, you know, gonna spend the rest of our life with, for better or for worse, at an age when we didn't even fully know ourselves. And we did that inside a set of social, societal expectations about what partnership should look like, and what timelines were acceptable, and what it meant to be a woman who was chosen, right? Somebody asked to marry me. Of course, I should say yes. They're asking. I don't want somebody to feel uncomfortable. I don't want to question my own thoughts about, is this what I want long-term? Someone's asking me. This is a privilege. This is what I've been raised to want Think about it. I mean, we, we chose our careers, we, we chose our homes and our schedules and our priorities, but so many of those choices were made inside a framework that wasn't really ours. It was a framework that we inherited, a yardstick that someone else literally put in front of us. So it becomes a set of expectations that we are so immersed in that we can't even recognize them as expectations anymore. They just feel like reality. It feels like we're making a choice even though there really isn't the opportunity for a choice, or there wasn't. There is now, but there wasn't then. Here's what I keep coming back to is none of this should make us feel like we're a victim. There is some agency there. But it might explain why your life doesn't feel like your own. What I'm talking about doesn't erase any of the real things you built or the real love you gave or the real work that you did. That's not what I'm talking about. But it might explain why even after decades of doing everything right, after making all the right decisions, living up to every standard, checking every box... You've done everything right. You've done everything that was expected of you. You've done everything that you were supposed to do. It might explain then why you still wake up at 2:00 in the morning asking yourself, "Is this really it? Is this the life I actually wanted? Is this the life I was supposed to want?" And maybe that's why I feel like something's missing, or there's something more for me, or I don't feel like myself anymore in my own life. Think about it. If the first half of your life was spent making choices inside a framework that you didn't design, then the question of, is this what I really want? That is not a sign that there's something wrong with you. It's, it's a sign that you're finally asking, maybe for the first time ever, maybe you're finally asking the right question. Maybe instead of just jumping to the next choice, in air quotes there, that is in line with expectations and approval and validation, maybe for the first time ever you are giving yourself permission to ask a question. Maybe there is a real choice in front of you. That's an opportunity. That's exciting. That is not a life that has passed you by or that the time is wrong. That doesn't mean that, you know, you're too old to make a different decision. Yeah, you made a choice at one point, and It got you to where you are today, which is pretty good. I think most of us would agree that our lives are pretty good. What is possible though, if we start making choices that are true choices. That to me is exciting. I think that there is so much possibility there. That, that's what all of my coaching is grounded on Here's where I want to land today. Because, you know, I don't ever wanna just leave you in a problem. I never do that. The School of Midlife is not about diagnosing everything that goes sideways in the first half of your life and then just leaving you there like, "Good luck. Yep, you're halfway there. Figure it out on your own." Nah, that's not what we do. It's about making you aware and then giving the tools to make different decisions or choices based on that awareness. So here's the reframe, and this is where I think I'm landing because a- again, I don't have this all sorted. I'm, I'm gonna be so interested to hear what you think about this because I'm just starting the conversation here. But here's where I think the reframe is. If the first half of our lives was lived largely inside an appearance of choice, right? So inside those frameworks and expectations that we absorbed before we were even old enough to, to understand them or question them, then I think midlife is the first real opportunity most of us have to make actual choices, fully informed choices, eyes wide open choices, choices that come from knowing ourselves, like really, really knowing who we are and what we want and what's important to us in this season of life, like really knowing ourselves instead of just knowing what's expected of us. I think this is an extraordinary opportunity. It's not a consolation prize. It's not the big downhill slide. It's not something that comes only to the lucky few who figure it out before 35 This opportunity is available to every woman who has the capacity for self-determination, which is most of us. And the beauty is we have that opportunity for longer than most of us realize. The woman in her late 50s who wrote to me and said she thinks she missed out on midlife, nope, absolutely not. She hasn't missed it. She's just arriving, and she's arriving with something she didn't have at 35. She knows what didn't work. She knows what she has suppressed. She knows what she was supposed to do, and she knows what that cost her. That knowledge, though, it's not a burden. It's the starting point for the truest and most deliberate version of her life that she has ever had access to. That sounds pretty amazing, right? That sounds like an extraordinary opportunity. That's the type of work I do We don't go back and re-litigate choices that felt like choices even though they weren't. We, we don't spend a lot of time in blaming the conditioning or the expectations that our parents had for us, or the women who came before us and handed us the yardstick because that was the only one they had. But the work I do takes the full weight of everything we've learned about ourselves and uses it to finally, deliberately design a life that is important to us now, that feels authentic and in alignment with the woman who we are in this season of life. It's what I go back to all the time. What do you actually want? Not what you were supposed to want, not what you were conditioned to want. What do you actually want? What does success mean to you now in this season of life? Not what it meant to you or your parents or your industry or the culture you grew up in or the 22-year-old version of you who was taking that job. You thought you were making a choice, but what you were really doing is just following the money or following somebody's expectations of you or seeking some approval or validation. What have you been putting off, not because you couldn't do it, but because it didn't fit the expectations around you? What happens if you aren't driven by those expectations any longer? What happens if you just do what you wanna do? These are the questions. These are big questions. I don't have an answer for you today. These are questions you have to answer yourself. Know this, though, there is no age limit on asking them. If we asked ourselves these questions earlier in life, we wouldn't be experiencing a midlife crisis or the midlife angst or the midlife questioning. But most of us didn't have that option earlier. But we do now, and we've got this great opportunity. Gets me fired up. I get, I just get so excited about this because I see what is possible when women embrace what feels authentic to them. When they actually exercise a choice that is a real choice. It's so exciting. It, it changes people's lives. Let's circle back to where we started the episode If you're a woman who's been watching the School of Midlife from the sidelines, telling yourself that you missed midlife, that you're too old, that gosh, you wish there was an opportunity like this for you when you were younger, I hope this episode has given you a different way to think about that. I truly believe you didn't miss it. You were busy. You were living. You were doing what you were supposed to do inside a life that felt like freedom but had its limits. But now you're here. You're paying attention. You're asking the questions, and it's not too late for you. This is your time. You're exactly on time. I'll just end by talking about the Best Life Mastermind. Applications close July 31st. This is exactly the type of work we do inside the Mastermind. We talk about choices. We talk about permission. We talk about what do you want? What do y- what does success look like for you in this season of life? If you were living your best life, what does that even look like? We talk about decision-making and, and we get clear on what's important to us now. Nine months, 10 women, two in-person luxury retreats, monthly personal development coaching, private community hosted off of social media. All of it is designed to get you out of the framework of validation or the framework of approval that you inherited, and move you from that framework into a life, a best life that you would actually choose. Because the choice is an actual choice that's fully available to you. So exciting. So exciting. Applications close July 31st. The link is in the show notes. If you wanna talk to me before you apply, um, let's get on a quick 15-minute call. Let's, let's talk about it. What, what are your questions? Let's answer 'em. We get started in September, which is my favorite time of the year. There's so much excitement about that post-summer reset that happens in September, and this one we're gonna knock out of the park with the mastermind. So check out the link in the show notes. Let's chat if you've got questions. I'm very, very excited about it. I'm genuinely curious about your thoughts on this episode. I know that I ask about it pretty much at every episode. Like, let me know what you think. Some of you will actually reach out and say, "Oh, I loved it," or, "I shared it." And thank you, thank you, thank you. I love that so much. As I continue to think through this, a lot of what I talk about on the podcast is ending up in the book I'm writing. I'm, I'm behind on where I thought I would be for the book. I thought I would have the book's first draft finished by the end of Q2. I'm 40,000 words in, and I am not done. But a lot of what I talk about on the podcast is helping me sort through the ideas and the principles that are gonna ultimately make it inside the book. This idea of choice, like I said at the top of the episode, is something that I just started thinking about on my hike today, and I would love to hear your thoughts on this idea of choice, and if it is actual choice that we've had, if it's something different than actual choice, if it's choice dressed up as expectation and validation and approval-seeking. Will you please do me the biggest favor and send me an email? There's a clickable link in the show notes where you can get my email address. DM me on social media. I hang out mostly on Instagram. But just let me know what you think. Please, please, please. And if this episode resonated with you, will you share it with a friend? I would love that, too. Thanks again for being here today. I will see you right back here next week when the School of Midlife is back in session. Until then, take good care.

Speaker 35:31

Thank you so much for listening to the School of Midlife podcast. It means so much to have you here each week. If you enjoyed this episode, could you do me the biggest favor and help us spread the word to other midlife women? There are a couple of easy ways for you to do that first. And most importantly, if you're not already following the show, would you please subscribe? That helps you because you'll never miss an episode. And it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. Second, if you'd be so kind to leave us a five-star rating, that would be absolutely incredible. And finally, I personally read each and every one of your reviews. So if you take a minute and say some nice things about the podcast, well, that's just good karma. Thanks again for listening. I'll see you right back here. Next week when the School of Midlife is back in session until then take good care.