147. Modeling Good Midlife Behavior, Including Feeling All the Anxiety and Excitement

What flying solo—literally—to France taught me about courage, clarity, and creating the life you actually want in midlife.

Episode Summary:

In this deeply personal and unscripted episode of The School of Midlife Podcast, Laurie records from the Delta Sky Club just before boarding a solo flight to France—her first international trip alone. It’s raw, honest, and packed with midlife truth bombs.

Laurie explores what it really means to live your adult dreams instead of just talking about them. From speaking only a little French to managing the jitters of international travel solo, she shares the messy beauty of stretching outside your comfort zone in pursuit of the life you actually want—not the one you were taught to want.

She also unpacks:

• Why “good enough” isn’t enough anymore
• How midlife can (and should) be your dress rehearsal for the next chapter
• The importance of doing the things you coach others to do
• How writing down her best life goals—like “I vacation annually in Europe”—created a ripple effect that led to this exact trip
• The role of vision boards, retreat invitations, and that red bicycle in the south of France

This isn’t a trip to check a box. It’s a powerful reminder that claiming your life starts with one brave decision at a time.

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Transcript

[00:00:00] 

Welcome to the School of Midlife podcast. I'm your host, Laurie Reynoldson.

This is the podcast for the midlife woman who starting to ask herself big life questions. Like, what do I want? Is it too late for me? And what's my legacy beyond my family and my work. Each week we're answering these questions and more. At the School of Midlife, we're learning all of the life lessons they didn't teach us in school and we're figuring out finally what it is we want to be when we grow up. Let's make midlife your best life. 

Hey friends. Welcome back to another episode of The School of Midlife podcast. I am your host, Laurie Reynoldson, and I'm not even sure if this is going to work. I am sitting in the Delta Sky Club with a glass of wine with waiting for my flight to leave for Paris. And because I [00:01:00] scrambled around and thought that I would have plenty of time to record a podcast episode before I left, um.

I'm gonna try and do it here. My guess is the audio quality, it will not be near as good as what you are accustomed to each week. But you know, we're on the road. So call, call that what it is.

Um, the reason I wanted to record an episode sitting here on my way to go to Paris for two weeks by myself. Um, Mike is gonna come over for the last six or seven days, he'll be there for the last week. But I'm gonna be there for two weeks and the first eight or nine days, I'll be there by myself.

Um, which is a, I, I love everything I'm doing. It's a complete dream of mine. And also I have realized that I'm a little anxious about it.

I [00:02:00] mean, I. Speak, un petit peu, French, just, just a very small amount. So I'm going, I'm traveling internationally by myself to a country where I don't actually speak fluently. I don't speak the language fluently.

So while that I, I'm super excited about this trip. It has been on the books, uh, not all that long actually, but it is making me a little anxious. I mean, I first international trip by myself to a country that I don't speak the language again. Um, yeah, I'm feeling a lot of the feels.

Which actually makes this the perfect message for a School of Midlife episode.

If I can bring it around and you can actually hear what I'm saying.

Sometimes our dreams scare us a little bit. Especially if we are accustomed to dreaming dreams that we know we, we can achieve. Uh, especially when we think [00:03:00] about living a life that either we already are or we know that we're going to be able to get there.

And that's great. If you wanna settle for a life that's good enough, but if you have been a listener of the School of Midlife podcast for a little while now, then you know that we don't actually settle for good enough here at the School of Midlife. We want to make midlife and beyond our very best life, and part of that requires us to step outside of our comfort zone a little bit. Do some things that maybe we didn't think were possible before.

Maybe try some things to see how they land and figure out maybe that they're not for us. On my vision board for the longest time, I have had this idea that I would spend part of the year every year in the south of France. There was just, I've got this picture built up in my head [00:04:00] about getting up in the morning, going for a long walk, taking my bicycle.

It's red, it has a basket on the front of it in my, in my head, taking a ride on my bicycle into town, walking through the farmer's market, figuring out what it is we're going to have for dinner by, you know, figuring out the freshest ingredients, whether that is going and visiting the fishmonger or a farmer, whatever produce is in season. Of course, picking up a fresh baguette from the bakery on the way home, putting that in my basket in a very Pinterest Instagram worthy way. Probably picking up a bouquet of flowers for the table and a gray bottle of wine.

That is how I have built up part of my adult life when it is I grow up. And to be quite frank, yes, I have vacationed in the south of France, but I have never [00:05:00] spent a lot of time there. I certainly haven't done it on my own. I haven't spent time there to see how does my life work when I own a business that is based in the United States?

Can I actually live abroad and make that work? I think the answer is yes, but that's why this is such an incredible experience and opportunity for me to get a little outside my comfort zone and do something that I normally wouldn't do, which is go to France by myself and I, I know it's only eight or nine days that I'll be by myself. But it's still enough to create a little anxiety, which leads me to this idea that.

If you know what you want your life to look like, we talk a lot about that at the school of midlife. You know, what is it that you actually want, not what you've been conditioned to want, not what you were raised to want, not what society tells you to want, but what is it that you actually want? [00:06:00] And that's important because if I would have opted to live the life that I was raised to want and society told me to want, I would've never left the practice of law when I did in 2015. I mean, I was on the verge of becoming a partner in a large, super regional firm, which was the thing that I had worked pretty much my entire life for. Now, it's interesting because I had already been a partner in a law firm, a smaller boutique firm.

I led corporate legal groups. I owned my own firm at a certain time, but for some reason, none of those achievements felt like the idea that I had in my mind about what really being in a successful attorney meant. I mean, I, I won awards for my, um for some of the legal work that I had done. [00:07:00] So it's, it's funny how we in our minds come up with some idea of how life is supposed to be, and sometimes that works out and sometimes it doesn't.

And sometimes, you know, if, if being a partner in a law firm was my goal, and it certainly was, I had achieved it well before I was on the verge of joining the partnership for this large super regional firm. But for some reason, those intermediate steps, which were pretty big steps, and most people would've thought, well, if you, if you own your own firm, you've got something going on there. But for me, that wasn't enough.

I say that because if I was ready to settle in my life for what it is that I had been taught to want: a steady paycheck, a good paycheck. And a big job title. That would've been it. And, and that was a dream that I had had since I was 10. I was on the verge of it, but then I [00:08:00] realized that middle-aged Laurie, that wasn't her dream anymore.

That's not what I wanted. That's why it's so important to figure out what it is you actually want and dream some adult dreams. Think about what your adult life looks like. And in doing so, sometimes that requires you to do some things that you wouldn't have done before. Like get on a plane and go by yourself across the ocean and hang out um, in a place where maybe you'll be able to understand the conversation. Maybe you won't.

That's why I talk about midlife being this beautiful dress rehearsal for What do you wanna do after you are done working, after the kids have left the house? When you know whether you call that retirement or whether you are just ready to make a big change in your life. [00:09:00] It's dress rehearsal right now while you still have some safety nets around you. It's, it's a dress rehearsal. It's great to be able to play a little bit. It's great to be able to experience new things, to figure out what it is that you as an adult, what you actually like. That's what I'm doing this week and next week.

Uh, interestingly, when we talk about a dress rehearsal, uh, there is a new episode with Francine Azel dropping on Friday. We talk a lot about making midlife your dress rehearsal. So that is a great, great episode. Be sure to tune in for that episode on Friday.

 Here's another reason that I wanted to record this episode today. I think it's important to role model for me to go first and show you what, doing something with a little [00:10:00] anxiety or if you're a little unsure of it, doing that anyway. Uh, it's one thing to have a coach who it tells you exactly what to do and preaches all of it.

But is she doing it herself? And this is me walking the walk and talking the talk. I mean, I, this is me walking the walk. I'm not just talking the talk. I'm, I actually doing the things that I coach all of my clients to do.

My great example is in the best life planner. My morning, 5, 10, 5, number six every morning is I vacation annually at the beach and in Europe. Those are two separate vacations. I understand I could go to some Italian Riviera or the Mediterranean and have an incredible beach vacation, but in my mind, those are two separate vacations because Best life, Laurie, she loves to travel. I, most of the time that beach vacation is in Mexico because we like to do what I call [00:11:00] ass sitting.

Um. So a beach vacation to me. Is it, it's more relaxed. It's it's laid back. It is just getting your wits about you a little bit. And then of course there's the European vacation that whether or not I do it every year, I'm thinking about it every morning. I was convinced until probably end of summer that I wouldn't make it to Europe this year. We had done our beach vacation in May. But I was looking at the calendar. I knew that there was a lot coming up and I just didn't think that Europe would happen for me this year.

And then someone mentioned this, this woman who is hosting a retreat that I'm going to attend, she lives in Paris.

She had recently written a, a memoir and she was recommended to me as somebody who might be a great guest on the podcast. Stay tuned. We'll see if I can actually book her for the podcast for a future episode. But [00:12:00] when I was doing a little background research, trying to figure out who she was, whether I wanted to reach out and invite her to come onto the podcast, I noticed this post that she had done on Instagram, and it was about this La Vendage or the harvest, particularly the wine harvest.

Um, this time of year it's called La Ven Dodge, and she's doing a three day retreat in Paris. Um, it's focused on creativity. It's focused on harvesting all the seeds that you've sown, and it was application only and I applied and I was accepted. The reason why I am mentioning this is because every day I write: I vacation annually in Europe and at the beach. I'd already done the beach vacation. And I'd also, you know, put that out into the world. So my subconscious, when it sees that, oh my gosh, [00:13:00] somebody who lives in France is doing a retreat in November. I don't have anything on the calendar. November. Like, all of a sudden all the pieces start coming together and I applied for it and I was accepted. And now I'm going to France for, um, to, to achieve the second half of number six that I read down every single day. I vacation annually in Europe and at the beach.

Number seven is I only fly first class or private. Um. This one I'm still working on it, but you bet if I have a 10 hour flight ahead of me, that I'm sitting in the front of the plane so that eventually I can lay down and take a nap and, you know, have another glass of wine and have a nice meal served.

And, um, but you have to, you have to give yourself some room to play. You have to be [00:14:00] able to be a little flexible and you have to be able and willing to step outside of your comfort zone. And I know that's easier said than done even for me. I mean, I feel like I have, I've, I've stepped a lot out of comfort zone over the years, but it's always been great. Because even if I haven't gotten to where I wanted to be or the experience was different than I thought it would be, I've always learned something.

And in doing that, then I'm able, that, that just helps me figure out what it is I wanna do next. What do I want? What does success mean to me? What does my best life look like? All pillars of what we teach here at the School of Midlife. It's everything that I coach with my clients, and this is me living it.

So, uh, I'm about an hour away from takeoff. I wanted to record this episode during my layover. Hopefully you will understand why the [00:15:00] sound quality is not as good as when I have my microphone with me, but hopefully it's good enough that you are able to hear what I'm saying. I will check in on social while I, I'm away, and I will see you back here next week when the School of Midlife is back in session.

I don't know if I'll be going live or if I will have a replay episode for you, but whatever it is, you, you'll know that it is another episode of midlife inspiration to help you figure out what, how you can make midlife and beyond your very best life. Thank you so much for being here today.

I'll see you real soon. Take care.

 Thank you so much for listening to the School of Midlife podcast. It means so much to have you here each week. If you enjoyed this episode, could you do me the biggest favor and help us spread the word to other midlife women? There are a couple of easy ways for you to do that first. And most importantly, [00:16:00] if you're not already following the show, would you please subscribe? That helps you because you'll never miss an episode. And it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. Second, if you'd be so kind to leave us a five-star rating, that would be absolutely incredible. And finally, I personally read each and every one of your reviews.