140. Stronger, Not Smaller: The Midlife Health Reframe You Didn't Know You Needed | A Conversation with Renee Bellinger

What if the secret to feeling strong and confident in midlife isn’t about starting over—but finally doing the small, sustainable things you've been avoiding?

In this episode, host Laurie Reynoldson talks with Renee Bellinger, a certified nutrition and health mindset coach with a background in counseling psychology. Renee is on a mission to help high-achieving midlife women get out of the all-or-nothing trap and finally build the foundation their future selves can stand on—without crash diets, guilt, or burnout.

They also take on one of the buzziest tools in the weight loss world right now: GLP-1 medications. Renee shares her hot take on why rapid weight loss without habit change can backfire—and what you should focus on instead.

This episode is packed with truth bombs, permission slips, and simple mindset shifts that will get you thinking about your body, your health, and your habits in a totally different way.

💡 In This Episode, We Talk About:

• Why small, repeatable habits matter more than “starting strong”
• The psychology behind behavior change (and how it trips up perfectionists)
• Why GLP-1s might help you lose weight fast—but won’t keep it off without habit change
• The power of identity-based goals vs outcome-based ones
• The sneaky way perfectionism and “all-or-nothing” thinking keep women stuck

🔥 Why You’ll Love It:

This isn’t a conversation about looking a certain way—it’s about feeling like yourself again. If you’ve been stuck in start-stop cycles, putting everyone else first, or wondering why motivation never lasts, this episode will meet you where you are and show you a better way forward.

Renee doesn’t hand you a 42-step health overhaul. She hands you a flashlight—and helps you finally see what’s actually in your way.

LINKS + MENTIONS:

Connect with Renee on Instagram

Connect with Renee on her website

📩 JOIN MY MAILING LIST
https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/newsletter

👉 CONNECT WITH LAURIE:
📩 Email Laurie

💻 Website

On Instagram

On LinkedIn

Work with Laurie

Transcript

​[00:00:00] 

I am very excited to introduce you to today's guest on the School of Midlife Podcast. She is someone who proves that you don't have to blow up your whole life to transform it. You just have to start making some bold, aligned choices that reflect the woman you are always meant to be.

I'm talking with Renee Bellinger.

She's a certified nutrition and health mindset coach with a master's degree in counseling and psychology, and a background in behavioral science. Renee helps busy women break free from the endless diet cycle by creating sustainable, personalized health habits without the pressure to be perfect or do it all at once.

What I love about Renee is that she gets it because she's lived it. From chasing the ideal weight in her twenties, defining strength and sanity after a difficult chapter of loss, to discovering a totally new way of caring for herself that doesn't involve deprivation or guilt. Renee's story is one, so many women in [00:01:00] midlife will resonate with.

In today's conversation, we talk about how to shift from all or nothing thinking, why mindset is often the missing piece in your wellness journey, and how midlife isn't the time to shrink. It's actually the time to take up space, literally and figuratively.

Please enjoy this conversation with Renee Bellinger.

Welcome to the School of Midlife podcast. I'm your host, Laurie Reynoldson.

This is the podcast for the midlife woman who starting to ask herself big life questions. Like, what do I want? Is it too late for me? And what's my legacy beyond my family and my work. Each week we're answering these questions and more. At the School of Midlife, we're learning all of the life lessons they didn't teach us in school and we're figuring out finally what it is we want to be when we grow up. Let's make midlife your best life. 

Laurie: Renee, [00:02:00] I am so excited to finally have you on the podcast. I'll, I'll explain how long I've actually wanted to talk with you on the podcast in a minute. But before we get there, can you just briefly introduce yourself to the audience? Tell us a little bit about what it is that you do.

Renee: Hi, I am Renee. I am a menopause informed health behavior change coach. So what that means is that I help you build behaviors to, uh basically reach your health goals. So, and I help you do that by addressing your self-sabotage, helping you uncover what's keeping you stuck, so that you can begin to make consistent progress.

I also being menopause informed, it's just a fancy way of saying like, I really understand the unique issues that come up during menopause. Like both from my experience going through perimenopause. And also just there is so much information out there and [00:03:00] I really distill it to what are the most important lifestyle factors that are going to move the needle for you. Because most people aren't doing that and they're jumping to like all of the other shiny objects that seem quite frankly more exciting than really spending the time to look at their current lifestyle and seeing where they can make change.

Laurie: That's because it, it feels easier and quicker. We're, we're gonna get into that in just a sec. I, I did. Yeah. Um, I saw Renee speak on a panel at a business conference in maybe 20, 21, 20 22, 3 or four years ago, and literally I accosted her after the panel on her way, like to the restroom, and I, I was like, you have to come on the podcast. Actually I, it was probably three years ago because there was no podcast before that, but it was a couple of years ago. We have [00:04:00] been trying to get this episode scheduled for years. That is just a testament to how crazy busy our schedules are. I am lucky enough to be in a business cohort with Renee and I absolutely love everything it is that she is doing.

I wanna talk a little bit more about, I, I love everything she that she's doing. I am so excited for the listeners to hear about health behavior change and the coaching you do and how it is different than other fitness, wellness, menopause body coaches on the internet.

Renee: Well, okay, first let's get back to that moment I stepped off the stage like it was very overwhelming. I was speaking in front of like a thousand people,

Laurie: People were mobbing her. That's how great she did.

Renee: [00:05:00] but I, I would say about four months later, we actually met in a more organic, less chaotic sort of way, and we've become friends and you're one of my business besties, so it's just so funny when you told me that and moment a couple of weeks ago, I was like, oh, that clicks. I do remember that conversation.

Laurie: I do remember this raving lunatic, like grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me and saying, you have to come on my podcast.

Renee: So how am I different in health behavior change coaching? And it's funny, like I wanna start this conversation by saying that a lot of times, like if whatever you wanna do, you have to figure out a way to make it work. I have a master's in counseling psychology. I spent 15 years I believe, or even a little bit more working in education, working in a therapeutic school.

And I was laid off during COVID and during my time [00:06:00] working in a therapeutic school, I developed a love for fitness. I developed a love, like learning how to nourish my body. And all of my friends and colleagues would always ask me like, how do you make this habitual? And it was really applying what I understood about like humans and like the psychology of change and applying that to the coaching I did with my one-on-one coach, that I was able to reach my goals and sustain them pretty effortlessly for like seven years or so.

And so if you know anything about diets, you hear like most of them don't work and it's, they don't work for a lot of reasons, but a lot of times it's the approach, like people just go in, they don't have an exit plan and they don't connect it to how it's going to change their lifestyle.

When I invested with a coach like seven years ago, I was like, okay, she's giving me information and I. And I didn't even realize I was doing it 'cause I'm so [00:07:00] used to just like playing around with behaviors kind of made my own plan. So when I became a health coach, that's what I wanted to do. I really wanted to help people create sustainable habits, focus on lifestyle strategies because I knew that that was missing in the space.

And a lot of people were naysayers, especially when I started and they were like, you need to focus on fat loss. Like that's what people want from a health coach. Like no one wants to hire someone for lifestyle change. It's all about fat loss. Like that's what people care about. And it's true to a certain extent, but what I've learned over the past, like three or four years, was that.

If you craft your messaging in a certain way, like you are going to bring in the people who want to work with you. And yes, most of my clients that I work with one-on-one, they do want fat loss. But they, they're listening to me. They understand that they also need to address their lifestyle [00:08:00] first and have a solid base before they get into fat loss.

And I like to say fat loss is like a 400 level course, and the basics are all the prerequisites that make it easier for you to achieve your goal in a fat loss, not feel like you're constantly dieting off and on. You have an exit plan and then, you are able to sustain your behavior because you're just toggling.

You're just eating a little bit less for a short amount of time in your fat loss phase, but you have all the building blocks like already set in place, um, for your life. So it's not an additional stressor. Versus what people usually do is think, oh, I need to diet, let me just jump into this. It's hard.

They're always thinking about being in a diet, but they're never really quite successful and it feels really defeating and they find themselves like bouncing back and forth for most of their [00:09:00] life.

Laurie: There is so much there that I want to get into. Um, I, I love this whole idea of the psychology of change. I like the idea of a sustainable lifestyle because I do feel like in the wellness space, it's all about how can I get results quickly? And I think all of us had the experience that, yeah, we can do anything for 30 days.

I, I remember a bikini bootcamp challenge that I did at the gym one year, and I, yes, I dropped weight. I looked great in a bikini because for 30 days I wasn't eating anything I liked. I wasn't like, I hated my entire life. Um, and I think it's so interesting that you are able to marry the psychology and this, this prior, career that you had with getting results for your clients.

In the health space as a, as a, uh, behavior change coach, [00:10:00] which leads me to, and, and, we'll, we'll get into that a bit more and, and how the, the wellness side works. You had a pretty big shift in your career in midlife, right? You went from psychology to coaching. Tell us a little bit about why you made that change.

Renee: oh gosh. Well, I was an educator. I was an assistant program director at a therapeutic school, and the job I had was the perfect job for me.

Laurie: what's a therapeutic school for the listeners who aren't familiar with that term?

Renee: So it's an alternative setting, and it's for kids who were, it's a public school, it's a special education school, so it's for kids who were struggling in their public school.

So just think typical town, high school, and they weren't doing well. They had some social emotional issues or recently we've been getting, oh, we were getting kids on the autism spectrum disorder, and [00:11:00] that environment just wasn't conducive to their learning, so they needed more support. And so our school was often like the next step.

So it wasn't in a public school, it was our own school. We had to higher Teacher staff ratio. We had more therapists. I managed the behavioral team. For me, it was the perfect job because I thought about being a school psychologist. I actually was a BD with with school psychology. Just 'cause I realized I didn't wanna test kids all day and just diagnose 'em.

And it allowed me to use both my master's and my knowledge of school psychology and help kids in a way that was meaningful to me. Also with education though, is like once you start working in a school, you're in a step pattern and it is what it is. Like that's why you don't see teachers bouncing around a lot, like after their first like two or three years, they stay in the district until they retire. Because [00:12:00] going to another district, especially if you're in the middle of your career, you're going to get bounced down to whatever step the superintendent decides, especially when you have the like the economy, the way the economy was during COVID, like schools were really cutting back.

So most districts that they were hiring were starting people like at a really low step, like so step three versus, I think I was step 11 or 12 when I left the collaborative.

So. That was one thing. I was like, you know what? I am. Oh gosh. I think I was like 49, 48, 49 when it happened. And I, well first before I even say that, like I was very privileged. Like I had choices that I could make , so I was in a very privileged space and I recognize that when I tell this story 'cause not everyone would have the same options as I had available to me. And so I do know that when I tell this story, it's not as easy for everyone.

So I [00:13:00] realized like I didn't want to start someplace completely new, making like significantly less than I was making before in a job that probably wouldn't have been as good of as a match for me.

And it was also during COVID and remote schooling was tough. Um. And I don't, I didn't really want that either, and I wanted to be there for my daughter who was also doing remote schooling, or she started out the year in remote schooling. 

So literally like maybe four or five days after I was laid off. My email is a mess, like, I'm not like the zero, your email inbox kind of gal, but like my, my like personal account, I saw an email from Precision Nutrition for level one nutrition certification.

Ironically, I later found out this is not the first time that they sent me this email. [00:14:00] Like I had done other courses, like with Precision Nutrition through my nutrition coaching, but I saw it and I was like oh my gosh, this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna become a health coach. There's a gap in the space.

And my husband, who's a finance guy and very, very smart businessman, can negate like any business idea that someone has, like he has done that to himself a million times. So when I presented this to him, I was expecting him to be like, that is insane. And he was like, no, go for it. I was like, seriously? What?

So that's how I started and I just feel like it was serendipity. But like, as our mentor says, like nothing happens like these, um, incidents are not that like out of the blue as you think, like the universe is telling you something, leading you in a certain direction.

And that was my nudge to like. Go full throttle in this. So that's how I made the changes that I [00:15:00] made in my life.

Laurie: Was there any part of you when your husband was like, yeah, do this. You're like, oh shit, now I gotta go do it? 

Renee: I had so much confidence. Like when he said that, I was like, yeah, I'm gonna go do it. But I didn't know a lot of what I didn't know. Like I wasn't thinking about like the marketing. I was already like, I like Instagram and I'm friends with an influencer and I'm like, I see her like walking her dog and talking and stuff.

Like, I can do that. You know? I was like, I know I can help people change. All I need is a certification and it's game over. My husband's like, okay, naive wife. He didn't say that, but he was like,

Laurie: heart. Look at how sweet that is. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna be become a coach. I know my shit. I know exactly what I'm talking about. Oh, I gotta mark myself when I actually have to run a business too. Yeah. That's a whole different ball of wax, isn't it? Um.

Renee: Totally different ball of [00:16:00] wax.

Laurie: think it's interesting too that you mentioned that you had already worked with the group that you earned your certification through. And I think it's so interesting how we can hear the same thing or see the same thing, the same message over and over and over again, and it never lands until it's the right time for us to see it or hear it or take action on it.

Renee: No, exactly. 'cause one of my friends from work used to say to me like, you should become a nutrition coach. And I was like, I don't have time. I'm working, I'm raising a child. That's my biggest regret if I had one. It's like if you have an idea, like just starting your side hustle, . Even if it's like doing a little bit like every day, like I would've been farther along if I had just started and stopped pitting, like all these false limitations on myself.

I even remember my supervisor one time asking me, he was joking. He was like, oh, this is your, [00:17:00] you are meant to do this job. He's like, without this, you would not do anything. I'm like, that's not true. And he is like, what? I was like, I would become an rd. Like if I had to do it again, I'd become an rd 'cause I'm so fascinated by nutrition.

And he was like. I could see that, like, that makes sense for the person I know. So again, like there were all these little seeds that the universe was like planting that I just didn't see. I had blinders. I was like, I'm comfortable. My life is going the way I expected to go. I don't wanna like rock the boat per se. Um, and I just ignored all of that. So, and here I am now.

Laurie: Yeah. But finally, right. You're right on time. Looking back, has it been a good decision? Are you glad that you made the choice that you did? Or do you sometimes think it would be better to just go back and, and do what I was doing before I was laid off?

Renee: Oh gosh, no. And I speak to my friends and they confirm that 'cause [00:18:00] like so many things have changed. No, I'm glad that I took the risk and started to do something else. I've, I learned so much about myself from doing this that I wouldn't have learned if I just stayed on the typical path. Um, so it's been a really big growth moment for me.

Um, and so yeah, I'm glad I did it. I mean, yes, I do miss the day to day of working with kids and seeing my colleagues, but, uh. I'm remembering it the way it was not the way it is. So it's like I, I don't wanna go back to what my friends are doing now because a lot of them are not, it's hard. It is really hard, at least at my former place of employment.

Laurie: We tend to romanticize a little bit about what we were doing before and how great it was, and we forget all the day to day or the week to weeks struggles or challenges or parts of the job that, you know, we didn't really like. So [00:19:00] it's, it's kind of like choose, choose your hard, choose what kind of experience you wanna have, and, and throw your attention and time at that.

So coaching has been a good change for you.

Renee: Yes. Yes. And I, towards the end, I was burnt out. I was bored. Like I just wasn't my best self as doing the job that I was meant to do, you know, and I didn't, I, I think, happens to a lot of people. You get to the point where you're just. Not starting, I was starting to count down the years because I was going to like leave a little bit earlier.

Um, I wasn't gonna stick it out to 65, but I was just kind of like, oh, you're just going through the motions.

Laurie: What? What did, so you're going through the motions. You're doing a countdown to retirement. What did you think you wanted to do after retirement? Had you thought that far in advance?

Renee: No, I haven't.

Laurie: Yeah, it's

Renee: [00:20:00] I just knew because it was a therapeutic high school, I had this idea that I didn't want to work with high schoolers when I had a high schooler. So my thought was that I probably would've retired within four years 'cause my daughter just started high school last year. Would that have happened?

Probably not, but that was my idea. And then like the next time was like, well, I'll stop before she goes into college, which is probably crazy. My husband would like really? So I probably had more time than I thought, but it was just like, okay, let me just start figuring out like how much longer I'm gonna do this.

I had no idea what I would do though. None whatsoever.

Laurie: It's, it's so typical for women to decide, you know what, I, I can stick this out for like three more years. And then you get to two and a half and you're like, oh, another, like three or four years. And we just keep pushing out the goal line. We, we just keep the, like the finish line is a little bit [00:21:00] further and so many women in midlife that I talk with, they aspire to be retired every day. It's, you know, it's kind of what they're, they're working towards. And then you ask them, what do you wanna do in retirement? And they have no clue.

Renee: Yeah, like I didn't even think about it at all. It was just like, I just don't wanna be here anymore, is what I knew.

Laurie: yeah, yeah. Um, okay, with that context, that background, let's move to the coaching. And when you started coaching, did you know that you wanted to work with midlife, perimenopausal, menopausal women, or was it just you started coaching and then that was sort of a natural group of people to work with because you were experiencing it yourself?

Renee: Oh, well, at first I just threw my net as wide as possible. Like I just knew I wanted to help people. [00:22:00] Change that. I wanted people to build skills and so I took like everyone, um, and which was good because I learned a lot about myself and I also knew what I didn't wanna do because my.

Laurie: What don't, what didn't, what didn't you wanna

Renee: was not,

Laurie: What didn't

Renee: yeah, I'm gonna tell you like, start with my favorite.

I, I'm, start with my favorite client. So my favorite client was a teen and I was just helping her build habits to go through college. Her mom was like one of my good is one of my good friends. It was like, give her habits. She's a busy athlete, she just needs to know how to nourish her body. She's going to college. Like I just want her to have a good foundation.

I had so much fun with her because it was just like, oh, the sky's the limit with what we can do, and watching her just learn things was like, just so fun.

What I didn't enjoy was were all my [00:23:00] fat loss clients. Not all of them, but like just the process. People hired me because they knew me, they liked me, and oh my gosh, like the stress of working with people trying to hit their macros like day in, day out, when most of them didn't have the basic understanding of like tracking or anything like that. It was just really, really tough.

It made me question like whether or not I made the right choice.

And for a while, I stopped one-on-one coaching. I also had another client who we worked on fat loss, but we also did a lot of mindset work and that also lit me up and I was just like, how can I marry the two? Like how can I do something similar to what I'm doing with my adolescent client and my other fat loss client and do less of the like every week like just discussing macros when people don't have the foundation.

And so I started a [00:24:00] membership because I was like, change takes a lot of time and coaching is an investment and not everyone has that level of financial freedom to put that much into their transformation journey with one-on-one coaching and.

Again, like that was good. And I'm tweaking my membership a lot now to focus more on a behavior change and because like the clients were just like, yeah, I did it. Like it was great and they had some wins.

But again, the curse of the new membership owner, it's like you throw everything and you're like, enjoy, and here's all of this, and it was really overwhelming. Not probably the best like backend client experience.

Feeling stuck with both one-on-one and then my membership for a time, I was like, okay, let me step back and really think about how I can make an impact that makes sense.

[00:25:00] My father passed away at the beginning of January and I spent a lot of time online, like I wasn't working and I was just scrolling social media. And I was like, oh my gosh, everyone sounds the same. This is horrible. Like what can I add to this space? And having that time away was such an awakening for me to really then go back and work on like who I was and my messaging about like how I can be different and how I can sound different.

That's how I really started to lean back into the lifestyle change. Menopause. I know it didn't really kick my butt, but I felt like it kicked my butt. Like I had my nutrition dialed in, I had my exercise dialed in, and literally I feel like overnight, like I gained 30 pounds. I know it didn't happen overnight, and I know

Laurie: Same.

Renee: What I know now, but like in the moment I felt, I was [00:26:00] like, oh my, I remember hiring my coach. When I started my business and I was like, I just wanna look so snatched for my 50th birthday. And it started working and then the scale started going in the opposite direction. And I was, and it was a coach, well-versed in mindset, but I just didn't feel comfortable talking to the coach about like all the stuff like going on in my head about feeling like a failure. I'm a new coach. It was like a lot for me to unpack.

And then I started really getting curious like, what's going on in my body? Like why is it, what am I missing here? And. Putting everything together, it all boiled down to the foundational health habits and they all help like mitigate perimenopausal symptoms.

But at the same time, I was realizing, ignoring the way I slept or didn't really sleep and ignoring the way I manage stress, like joking about being a stress eater, that was not serving my purpose. And I also was working for myself. I wasn't [00:27:00] moving as much and just going to the gym like three times a week wasn't enough. Let alone going to the gym, running on fumes because I was in a type of gym where you had to sign up for classes. And so I was like, you know, 7:00 AM Warrior, I have to work like after, so I'm basically going to the gym on little sleep, doing a heavy lift and like literally feeling like my nervous system on deadlift days. Like I would like drop the weight and like feel vibrations in my body because I was running on fumes.

And so I was like, okay, I'm gonna give myself, going to start something, I'm gonna start an experiment with myself. It can't get any worse than it's now. And I'm like, I'm just gonna play around and see what that looks like. And I got serious. I'm like, yes. What I'm used to do isn't working now. That is clear.

Yes, I love my gym, I loved my community, but it's just not the right fit for me personally [00:28:00] and the life I currently have. So let me find a program that I can do on my own that's more strength, less like a combination of strength and HIIT and let me give it a year to do that. Let me go outta my comfort zone and join like a bro gym.

'cause I still like to lift heavy and not that everyone has to do it, that just brings me joy and let me learn how to take space.

And I remember texting my coach. I had just finished working with her and I said, oh my gosh, you'd be so proud of me 'cause I'm in this gym with Gym Bros and gym gals, like they're wearing booty shorts and stuff.

And I'm like, and I'm like, I'm doing the thing. And I left my nutrition alone. Quite frankly, I'm like, I need to work on my sleep. I need to go to bed earlier 'cause I'm still waking up early. Like I, I just need to fix this stuff. Like, I need to figure out how to [00:29:00] manage my stress. 'cause God knows, like my life was stressful without joking about being a stress eater.

And through working on all of that, I was noticing changes, I was feeling stronger, like my A1C had dropped, even though I wasn't at the weight I wanted to be. Like I was moving my body, like all of those other demons, like I felt like I had more of a handle on.

And then I was like, okay, two years later, I was like, okay, let me start a fat loss phase and see what muscle, if any, I've built and like that's, I'm towards the end of my first phase of my fat loss phase, and I've been successful with it.

But because like I haven't really changed anything, like I'm already sleeping. I manage my stress, I move, like I look the way I look because I've spent years lifting. You know, it's not like I'm just trying to get skinny, like I want to look [00:30:00] strong, and so my results are a direct impact of my lifestyle, which then makes it easier for me to sell this message, right? It's like I've been there, I've been on both sides.

I understand that used to work, didn't work, doesn't mean that you do double down on the things that don't work. You really do have to broaden your focus 'cause your body isn't managing your stress as well. Your sleep is affected. So you need to support your body by doing what you can do. Like, yeah, I'm not 20, like I can't go out drinking and then go to the gym the next day. I used to do that, like that's no longer a smart choice for me. So. That's how I

Laurie: like out train a bad diet, right? You have a big bender of a weekend and you just spend another like 30 minutes on the StairMaster and you call it good. And it doesn't work anymore. It doesn't work anymore.

Renee: It doesn't, and then, and people are so [00:31:00] confused by that and they're frustrated by that, and I understand where they're coming from. I do. And so I acknowledge you're right. Like what used to work didn't.

Laurie: And it's not even like what worked in your twenties doesn't work. It's like what worked did, like, worked in your early forties doesn't work anymore. It's so, it's so interesting. Um, you talked about giving yourself a year to work with your coach to build this foundation, do you think. Do you think it takes a year?

I, I know that, you know, building habits, building foundation, that takes some time. And anybody who tells you, you know, you can do it in five days or 30 days, in my opinion, is just trying to sell you something because I don't think it can. But is it a year, is it less than a year? Is it more than a year?

Does it depend on the person?

Renee: It depends on the person and what they're trying to do. So for me, with the [00:32:00] muscle, like we're losing muscles, we lose muscle mass. Men and women starting in their mid thirties. I think it's like three to 5% a decade and. I mean, I was training, so for me it's like it's going to take a while to start building that muscle up.

So that year was okay, give, let me give myself a year, really focus on strength training and movement and see if that impacts my A1C. And it did, like it went back down. Um, 'cause I followed the science, like I didn't follow, uh, pop culture, health soundbites, what you see on social media. Really think it depends on the person, like how long it takes.

Laurie: yeah. Somebody on

Renee: Well, this one thing, um,

Laurie: Yep. You

Renee: um, so research, I know it's crazy. Studies suggest that it takes about, it averages in terms of how long habit formation. It can range anywhere from like 30 days to up to 240 days plus for most people. So it [00:33:00] really depends on. Personally, I think it depends on what you're trying to change, how close you are to where you want to be and your mindset going into the process, both with understanding that there are going to be bumps in the road and making adjustments as necessary.

Because I think that's what really sets people up. Once again, I am doing what marketers tell you not to do, and I'm giving you a more honest assessment of what's going on.

One of the biggest barriers that get in women's way is unrealistic expectations. It's the idea that if I'm in a calorie deficit, I'm, if I'm not losing one to two pounds a week, I'm a failure. You know, like it's three months, I'm gonna look completely different. You know, it's all of these unrealistic expectations that then when we hit a [00:34:00] road bump, we feel like, oh yes, I failed.

It's another con confirmation that we're not capable of changing, and that is what drives us to, I believe, like the shiny object syndrome. So it must be something else. It must be like, I need this supplement, I need this, I need that. Primarily driven by unrealistic expectations, not understanding how to look at your challenges and figure out like what the message is, like what you're meant to learn, and then what to do to adapt based on the feedback that you're getting.

Laurie: I'm, I'm trying to figure out if I wanna go here or not, but I'm going to because you have recently you've taken a stand on social media and you're talking about unrealistic expectations and I think it's just, it ties the, the point home. I wanna talk to you about GLP-1's, um, because they're everywhere.

I, I do think that they, they, they definitely have [00:35:00] some value. They're working for a lot of women. Um, I'd, I'd love your opinion on GLP -1s.

Renee: You are gonna get me in trouble, Laurie. Okay. First, I will

Laurie: I'm you're not, you've already said it. You've already said it. You already

Renee: Oh,

Laurie: have been all over.

Renee: chest all the time. All the time.

First of all, it's a conversation between you and your doctor. A doctor, not a telehealth center, not like a weight loss, like a noom, weight Watchers, not some compounded pharmacy that's just trying to sell you something, not an ad that you see on the back of your shopping cart telling you you need to lose weight fast.

There are certain criterion for people who need that, like people who have obesity. Obesity, right? Like, and I'm not just talking about BMI, like their doctor knows their health history and it's helping them because [00:36:00] like they are close to metabolic syndrome. Like they have a lot of health issues going on.

They've tried in whatever fashion to lose the weight on and off again, it didn't work. That being said, these medications are meant to be used for life. And I don't say that as someone who's just like, oh, like saying it as a scare tactic. They're not meant to be used for short periods of time. They're meant to be used similar to someone who takes insulin or someone who has high blood pressure.

Um, even though sometimes people come off depending on why they have high blood pressure, but like they are meant to be used for the rest of your life. They're also medications and they have side effects.

That being said, too many women are buying the hype that microdosing is the answer for them. And because it's not like, first of all, microdosing isn't even really rigorously studied.

Secondly, most of the places you're getting it from would be compounded, which then you don't even know what you're getting, to be quite [00:37:00] honest.

If your lifestyle habits are not, yes, you will lose the weight. Like taking a microdose of a GLP-1 will put you in a calorie deficit. That is true.

However, if you then get off and you have not changed your lifestyle, you have no idea like what? Why you do what you do and what caused the weight, you will gain the weight back.

It is also a medication that has side effects and. Yes, 1% or people get X, Y, and Z and you could be that like 1% of people who get whatever the side effects are.

And there are some serious side effects. Like it happened to a friend of mine, like she had serious side effects from taking a GLP -1. So it's not something, I would recommend it as a first result.

And why I'm so passionate about this is like I am arguing for like my past self. I'm arguing for myself who, if I was still working in education, if I didn't get certified as a nutrition coach, [00:38:00] and then if I didn't learn more about like lifestyle or how your lifestyle can impact your outcome in menopause, I probably would've just bought like a GLP-1 microdose. So because I'm like, I wanna lose the weight, I gained 30 pounds. I am doing nothing wrong, and the weight just happened, this must be the answer.

Laurie: Yeah.

Renee: I am fighting hard for that person because I feel more empowered. I am actually healthier because I'm actually living in a way that's going to benefit my long-term health.

And as a mother, like I'm also. I am giving my daughter like a lifestyle legacy, right? Whether or not she picks it up, who knows what will happen. But I started lifting 'cause my dad had always lifted when I was a kid. He would go to the gym like in the seventies and eighties and that was like the thing that he did.

I thought that was like completely normal and kind of cool that like he was doing this [00:39:00] thing. And so when I started lifting, like in my thirties, like we would connect on that. I'm like, yeah, look. My sister the same. She looks, I'm guessing because like we saw my dad do it. So me, like I want my daughter's like legacy of me is to know that like, okay, my mom focuses on like her nutrition.

She goes to the gym a couple times a week. She finds time to do what she has to do as a mother, but also spends time for herself. You know, she's managing her stress by not turning to like a glass of wine every night. Like she's walking, she's doing other things, she's doing puzzles, she's doing all of this stuff.

Like for me, it's so much bigger than that and I don't want my life style legacy to be like, oh, my mom's like so worried about her size that she's microdosing like with a GLP-1. Not that she would necessarily see that, but I just feel like there's a lot to be said kids see everything. They see what we do, they see how we do it.

[00:40:00] And they make note. So for example, I am currently tracking my macros. Do I ever say that I can or cannot have anything because I'm tracking my macros? No. She never hears me say that. She sees me weigh my food like every day and has never asked me like once what I do. And honestly, it's so much easier to measure food that way anyways, that sometimes I like measure their food.

If I'm doing portion sizes, it's like I'm normalizing it, right? Like everyone gets like a portion, it's not a deal. Never connected it to my weight. If anything she asked me, we talk about protein, we talk about it to make you strong. We talk about the gym to be strong and healthy. It's never connected to my weight.

So that is why I am so passionate about that. But I also want women to understand why they're doing it. And I feel like a lot of people are turning to the microdosing because they feel like that's the only option for them. And that's a mindset issue. And that's not necessarily reality.

Laurie: And I [00:41:00] think as well, because I am, this is so far out of the sandbox that I play in, but um. I think the perception is that it will happen quickly. You know that, that you will see

Renee: Yes. And it does.

 I know people who do microdose and it's like, they're like, oh, I lost 30 pounds in a relatively short amount of time. Now to put it into a different frame of reference. And maybe people will listen to this and be like, well, then I'm gonna microdose.

I'm in a longer fat loss phase or calorie deficit because when I hired the coach I'm working with now, hired her in April, hired her 'cause she worked with one of my friends who travels a lot.

And I'm like, I'm hiring you because I know that you know how you help someone who travels a lot, like navigate being in a calorie deficit. So mine is longer. I'm on week 22 I think, but I've also traveled [00:42:00] three weeks in the summer. My daughter's an all star cheerleader. I traveled for a weekend, I think two weeks after I started coaching.

So I've maybe taken like, let's say a month off from tracking, right? Like I will take a week off, go on vacation, live my life, come back, jump right back into it.

In that 22 weeks, I've lost about, I think maybe 15 pounds. I don't even know at this point. I don't keep track of it so closely. Um, wait, let me see.

Yeah, about like 15, 16 pounds. Does it feel like it's been forever? In some ways, yes. In some ways, no. I am not really concerned about the weight because I feel so much better and I like the way I look. But I'm also happy with what I see. I also know people who think that they're, they're chasing something that may no longer be there, right?

You micro dose, you do lose the weight quickly. But if you're not strength training, you're also losing more [00:43:00] muscle, um, which is your lean mass along with your fat. You're not gonna have that tone . One of my colleagues calls it like the melted candle look. And I do think that more discussion needs to also be had and more research that needs to be done, especially for the women microdosing.

If you're worried about like bone loss, when you lose muscle, that doesn't help with your bone loss. And I do feel like in five, 10 years from now, we're going to have more women who have bone density or loss of bone density issues than we've had previously before because of these medications.

Because of the people microdosing. And I feel like people are really shortsighted with that. I, but I also feel like it's cultural. Like we place more emphasis on weight versus health. We conflate weight and health and they're not always the same.

Laurie: I think that that is a, let, let's get off the GLP-1. Um, I [00:44:00] took us a little far afield there. So thank you for indulging me and, and just walking through that with me. Um, when a client works with you, it sounds like the focus is building a strong lifestyle, legacy, like you were talking about a good, solid foundation.

The flipping, maybe the mindset from, let's focus on the weight and focus more on the health. You, you did talk a little bit, you, you mentioned that oftentimes women have unrealistic expectations or they don't have the, the right mindset going into the process. Can you speak a little bit more about that?

Renee: Well, I think of it from like a fixed versus growth mindset perspective, right? And your mindset isn't the way you see everything. It changes per situation. So I think a lot of women when it comes to health have a fixed mindset, meaning that anytime they have a challenge, anytime they have a setback, they internalize it as some character [00:45:00] flaw.

Whereas like a growth mindset is um, really like oversimplifying this as someone who sees these setbacks and they're like, oh my gosh. I'm going to figure that out. Like this is all, figure-outable like I can change, like I know that this is possible for me. So when I say the unrealistic expectations and a fixed mindset, it's because most women just assume like they're broken, be it their metabolism, menopause their hormones, yada, yada, yada.

Like it's all coming from this perspective. And so. Working through your mindset is really, the beginning is like being aware of what you need to change. Right. And I never say to women like, you need to work on your mindset.

But a lot of women come to me knowing that I can help 'em with, help them with their mindset. But that being said, I never say to someone, oh, you need to work on your mindset. 'cause it doesn't work that way. How does it work? It's like, okay, I'm meeting you where you are and we're going to start getting wins. We are [00:46:00] going to make plans for these and we start small.

So you hear small and you might think, oh my gosh, I need more than small. I need to overhaul it all at once.

Laurie: ​ What do you mean by starting small?

Renee: I meet them where they're at? So. What we usually do is like throw everything into the basket at once, right?

Like I have a friend who right now is like, I feel great. It's been five days I've cut out like this. I'm doing morning walks, I'm doing afternoon walks, I'm eating vegan and I feel great. And I'm like, I love that for you. In the back of my mind I'm like, how long is this sustainable? Because you changed like four things at once, right?

And that's what most people do. So what I do is. Say, okay, that's great. You wanna work on all those things, but what's the one thing that you feel would move the needle the most for you currently that you're not currently doing? I ask them, what do you wanna do and what do you feel capable of doing? And then I even sometimes [00:47:00] peel it back a little bit because it's like too broad.

So I have a client who's like, oh, well I want to work on. I wanna have a healthy, healthy meals for my family. I'm like, well that's vague. Like what does that even mean? Your brain doesn't know what that means. Like how are you going to follow through when you don't even have a direction?

And so we spoke through it a little bit more and eventually she'd like to meal plan, but where we're starting is adding vegetables to dinner. 'cause she's like, we don't typically have vegetables at dinner. And I know that like meal planning, like that's where I need to start. So it's something that she feels capable of doing, but it's not so large of a behavior or a task that it's going to overwhelm her.

Her brain's not gonna go into panic mode because it's being challenged so much, and when our brain is challenged, it likes safety. It's easier to revert back to your older behaviors. This is safe. It's like, oh, I feel like I can do this. Okay, it's just one meal. I'm adding vegetables to just one meal.

And so that's where we start. [00:48:00] And I think what happens is that people don't realize that behaviors are additive. So they either snowball, so like vegetables at dinner could be then, oh, we have two servings of vegetables at dinner. Or it like then goes to other areas. It looks at like, oh, well now that's easy.

I'm gonna add it to lunch and add a fruit at breakfast. And so we tend to downplay how significant these small changes are because we're like, it's too small. I don't have enough time. I need to change everything right away.

Laurie: I think you just beautifully explained how working with a psychology backed health coach is different than working with almost anybody else. Because you talked about how the brain works and you talked about how additive behaviors really help create that foundation and, and when you take something small to start with, your brain isn't necessarily [00:49:00] it, it feels like. When something is too big or we, we put this requirement on ourselves that I'm gonna do it every day. I, you know, like it's so big that you do, you get to a point and you're like, well, if I didn't do it twice this week, does that mean that I failed and I should stop? And I should just go back to what I was doing again.

So thank you so much for just walking. I, I don't know if you intended to do that, but you explained it in the perfect way that it makes such incredible sense to, to not only work with somebody who understands the science behind the nutrition and the, the health and the wellness, but also brings a psychology background to it. So that's fantastic.

If there are listeners who want to learn a little bit more about working with you, where do they find you?

Renee: Primarily on Instagram at, I'm sure you'll leave it in the handle, coach Renee Bellinger and [00:50:00] also joining my email list. Um, if you can, again, it's so hard to remember, Renee bellinger coaching.com. Like, go to my website and join my email list and in my email list, like I aim to send emails once a week.

Um, and I, there's stories, it's mostly stories about my life and how I apply the principles of behavior change or health and nutrition? A little bit about like the behind the scenes of my calorie deficit, like to my life. So for example, I hadn't worked or sent an email in a very long time, like this whole summer, and I spoke about essentialism.

And sometimes you can't. Like this summer I was operating on the minimum, like my daughter was home, for the first time ever. She didn't have camp. She's too young to work. She's also very busy with the chair and she was home. So days are shortened. When days are shortened, like some certain things got taken off the plate for business, even if it's like against what the general [00:51:00] consensus says to do.

So my first email back was like, I know it's been a while and this is why. So I really spent a lot of time just like having my subscribers, get to know me and how I apply all the principles in my life. Um. Sometimes in health and sometimes in business.

Laurie: Perfect. Get yourself on that list. You are going to love Renee as much as I do. Renee, we end every episode at the School of Midlife for the same two questions. Number one, if you could go back, knowing everything it is that you know, having learned all of the lessons that you've had, have all the experience that you've had, what advice would you give to your 20-year-old self?

Renee: Oh gosh. Oh, my 20-year-old self, she was a hot mess. Um, I'm gonna go with my 30-year-old self because I feel like that's when I settled. Does that have to be my 20, 20-year-old self? Um,

Laurie: you tell your 30-year-old self?

Renee: It, [00:52:00] my 30-year-old self, I would say, to listen to what people are saying in a different way. If you have a passion and people are saying you're good at this, figure out a way to, uh, share it, to implement it, to start a hot side hustle, even if it feels hard, because it's gonna be worth it.

Laurie: I love that. Number two, what do you like most about being a midlife woman?

Renee: Oh God, I don't know. Um, it's not that I don't like it. Um, I really think, to be honest, I don't even wanna say like I'm more empowered because of midlife. I really think it's, I'm more empowered because of like the choices that I've made for myself and my health. You know, like, so even if I made these choices in a concerted way, like early in life, I would still love like who I am.

I think,

I would say my favorite thing about midlife is that I'm more [00:53:00] introspective like I've become, but again, I don't know if this is midlife, it's just. Who am I exposed to? Like I am definitely more tuned into my intuition. Definitely a little bit more woo than I ever thought possible. And I'm realizing that like my inner voice, she's loud and like sometimes when she speaks to me, it's like, okay, I gotta listen.

Um, and I, it's just all of the experiences that I had to lead me to this point to make me realize that about myself.

Laurie: That's beautiful. That is a perfect way to end the episode today. Thank you so much for being here, Renee. I've really, really enjoyed this conversation.

Renee: Oh, thank you. It was so fun.

 Thank you so much for listening to the School of Midlife podcast. It means so much to have you here each week. If you enjoyed this episode, could you do me the biggest favor and help us spread the word to other midlife women? There are a couple of [00:54:00] easy ways for you to do that first. And most importantly, if you're not already following the show, would you please subscribe? That helps you because you'll never miss an episode. And it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. Second, if you'd be so kind to leave us a five-star rating, that would be absolutely incredible. And finally, I personally read each and every one of your reviews. 

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