105. The Midlife Realization: Are You Living the Life You Truly Want?

In this episode of the School of Midlife podcast, we dive into one of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself: What do you truly want in life?

If you’ve spent years following the success checklist—graduate, get a job, buy a house, raise kids, climb the career ladder—this episode is for you. It’s time to stop living on autopilot and reflect on whether the life you’ve built is aligned with your true desires or if it’s time to redefine what success looks like for you.

In this episode, your host Laurie Reynoldson shares her personal journey from thriving in a successful legal career to realizing that despite external achievements, she wasn’t fulfilled. Through her own story and experience, she sheds light on why knowing what you want is the foundational step to living an authentic and meaningful life.

Key Takeaways:

• Why many of us get caught in autopilot mode, following a life checklist that doesn’t reflect our true desires.
• Laurie’s personal journey from being a successful commercial real estate attorney to realizing that career success didn’t equate to happiness.
• How to reflect on what your younger self wanted versus what you truly want now.
• The importance of dreaming big, even in midlife, and differentiating dreams from goals.
• Practical advice for redefining your vision of success and crafting a life you actually want.

If you’ve ever wondered if there’s more to life than the goals you’ve been checking off, this episode will inspire you to reconnect with your true self, rediscover what lights you up, and take meaningful steps toward creating the life you desire.

LINKS + MENTIONS:

• Want to watch the video? Click here!
• If you want to dive deeper into exploring what you truly want and how to design a life that reflects your unique desires, Laurie offers coaching and retreats. Click here to inquire about 1:1 coaching.
• Interested in learning more about the Gap Year? Click here!

Connect with Laurie:

• Website: https://schoolofmidlife.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/schoolofmidlife

One More Thing! Enjoyed today’s episode? Don’t forget to subscribe to the School of Midlife podcast and leave us a review! Share this episode with a friend who might need a little midlife inspiration.

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Transcript

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This week's episode of the School of Midlife podcast, we're talking about a realization that I recently had that completely blew my mind. It is something that only took me, as it turns out, 40 years to figure out. I can't wait to share it to you. Suffice it to say, it has something to do with, maybe it's time to start dreaming some adult dreams. Even if that sounds a little woo woo for you, I promise you're going to get a lot out of this episode. So stick around. Welcome to the School of Midlife podcast. I'm your host, Laurie Reynoldson. This is the podcast for the midlife woman who's starting to ask herself big life questions like, what do I want? Is it too late for me? And what's my legacy beyond my family and my work? Each week, we're answering these questions and more. At the School of Midlife, we're learning all of the life lessons they didn't teach us in school. And we're figuring out, finally, What it is we want to be when we grow up. Let's make midlife your best life. Well, Hey there friends. Welcome back to another episode of the School of Midlife podcast. For the first time ever, we are actually recording the podcast in video form. There have been some requests for video form. Others of you prefer to just listen to the audio like we've always done, and that's totally cool. But for those of you who want a. weekly dose of a little midlife video, um, this one's for you. So if you like it, let me know if you'd prefer not to have the video. Let me know that too. It takes a little bit more time to maybe curl my hair and throw on some makeup and be camera ready, which is why for the longest time we have always done just audio. In fact, we're coming up on our two year anniversary of the School of Midlife podcast, which is. Bananas. I can't even believe that, but be that as it may, we are very close to two years. I think we're about two weeks away. Maybe, I don't know. I've got to look it up, but really interesting and, um, just grateful that you have been here through some of it, all of it, always, always thrilled to have you here and so grateful that you. Spend part of your week with me every week that I don't, that's something I don't take lightly. I, I'm, I'm so grateful for it. In today's episode, I want to talk about living a life that you want, a life that you actually want. Not that you've been conditioned to want, not what your parents raised you to want, not what society tells you to want, but what it is it that you genuinely want. And if you've been around here for a while, or you've been involved in any of my one on one coaching or group coaching or retreats, then you know, we spend a. Decent chunk of time trying to figure out what it is we want and it sure it sounds simple enough and it's an easy concept But for most of us, we really don't know what we want We're more on autopilot just kind of doing the things that we think we should want the things that we Are supposed to want the things that society tells us That we will be in success when we achieve them. And the interesting thing about talking about this today is I recently had an epiphany. And, and I've been talking about this for the better part of five years. Like this is the foundational stuff. If you're concerned that you're having a midlife crisis or you're worried about I've been so successful in my life up until now. What is next for me before we can even move on into the what's next for me? You know, I've got the 401k and I've, I've, I've had huge success in my career. And then the kids are grown and flown and my parents are in a good situation. We spend so much time doing all the things for so many other people in our life. And then we get to midlife and, and it's this idea that. We finally made it and we're going to be rewarded with this wonderful midlife experience and If we don't know what we want, then we're just going to find ourselves in this sort of in between state. And maybe that's why it's called midlife, right? But we can continue to keep doing the things that we have always done. We know that that's not going to give us any new or different Outcomes if we're just doing the same thing that we've always done then we should we'll end up with the exact same experiences but what I realized recently was I I finally understood Why? Knowing what you want Is the foundational piece. Like, I've been teaching this for five years. I've been coaching on it for five years. It's, it's such a cornerstone piece of the entire curriculum that all of my coaching clients go through. And I finally figured out why it's so important. I knew. You know how you just, you have this innate understanding. This knowing. I, I knew it was important. And I finally figured out why. So, you know, it's taken me 53 years to figure this out. I coach on it, so it's taken me a good five years to even figure that out. But I'm gonna break it down to you in really simple terms. But I'll tell you what, I, like, it occurred to me a couple of weeks ago and it blew my mind. Because I, I just, I hadn't thought about it that way before and, and I think that's, that's what I hope I'm doing in this podcast and other pieces of the School of Midlife. Which is giving you things to think about in maybe a different way than you thought about them before. I'm, I'm asking you to consider or think about or imagine or experience almost everything in your life in a different way than you have before. Because so many of us have been on this. This autopilot, we set our lives in motion a very long time ago. And that was because we were doing what we thought we were supposed to do. Right? We were following the success checklist to a tee. Go to school, get a job, get married, buy a house, have some kids, raise them up. Get promoted in our career, climb the corporate ladder. I mean, we, we have been really lockstep following this checklist, this to do list that. Was, was given to us. It's not something that we sat down with a pen and paper and said, Okay, and, and, and then I'm gonna do this and then I'm gonna do that and that. I mean, maybe we did because certainly, you know, you don't just go to school and, And willy nilly end up with a career that you didn't put any thought into. But for the most part, We're just sort of blindly following this, This is what it means to be a good girl. This is what it means to be a successful girl. And we've been doing that our whole lives. I'm no stranger to that myself. Some of you are newer to the podcast than others, so for many of you, you may not know my backstory. But I was a commercial real estate attorney for the first 20 years of my career. And I was really damn good at it. You know, award winning, my clients loved me. I, I, I was really, really good at it. I kinda used to joke, though, that I was a little bit of a job whore because It seemed like, especially in the beginning of my career, I would change jobs like every two years. Because I, I would get in a position and I'd be working for a firm or in corporate or wherever I was working and I would just get really, I don't know if bored is the right word, but I could just feel like the newness had worn off. The excitement was gone, and I just felt like I was kind of going through the motions. Like, I wasn't being challenged, it was like suffering through a case of the Sundays every single Sunday. And some people call those the Sunday scaries, I have always called them the Sundays. And they're that day long dread on Sunday, all day on Sunday, where you just think to yourself, I gotta go to work tomorrow. And I suffered through an acute case of the Sundays. every Sunday for years. I mean, I'm not even being dramatic. It's just, I, I never, never, I mean, absolutes are tough, but for most of my career, I didn't want to go back to work on Monday. And I spent all day Sunday. Just dreading it. I, I would always bring my briefcase or my messenger bag, whatever I was using at that point, with my laptop in it. I would always cart that home full of tons of work. I would sit it at a certain spot near the garage door. And I would walk by that thing every freaking day. And every time I would walk by that bag and I hadn't picked it up and I hadn't opened it, it was just this feeling of dread inside of me. Like, I know what I'm supposed to be doing, but I sure as hell don't want to spend my weekend doing that. And I did that every weekend and, and for those of you who are more skilled at the Sundays, like myself, you might also recognize that there does come a point on Sunday night, usually at about eight 30 or nine o'clock at night, when most people are winding down and you're like, holy shit, I got to actually do some work because this is either due Monday morning, or I've got to make a call, or for some reason I had to get the work done. So. So. Yeah. I would finally like buckle down, sit down, start the work at like 9 o'clock on a Sunday night. And as you might imagine, that is a terrible recipe for getting a good night's sleep. But I did that for 20 years. I was routinely building 40, 50, usually between 50 and 60 hours a week. So if you do the math on how many hours I was actually working, I mean, it, it, it, I, I don't even like to think about it because it was not a good way to live. And I did that for years. I did that for decades. Until I realized that, you know what? The law isn't for me. I've told this story on the podcast before, but again, there are several of you who are new. I did not plan to leave the law. In fact, I was on the verge of joining the partnership of a large super regional firm, the thing that I had literally worked my entire life to get. The job that was kind of the cherry on top, the creme de la creme, the thing that all attorneys in private practice, that's what they work for. To earn a partnership in a large firm. And I had been, I'd been a partner in a, in a small boutique firm before I had, I was running a part of a corporate legal department during the global recession, I actually had my own practice for a while, so I had experienced all sorts of different ownership and management situations through my career. So yeah, I'd been there for 20 years doing practicing law, commercial real estate, and I'd even been in ownership and management positions. But this one was different. This was, this was the big cheese, right? When I was going to law school, this is how I expected I would end my career. As a partner at a large firm. To become a partner in a large firm, you spend almost, it's almost a two year process, where they look at everything about your legal practice up to that point to figure out if You are worthy of being considered to join the partnership. So, you know, they look at how many hours are you billing? How much work are you bringing in? Who are you working with in the firm? I mean, are you just working on projects that they give you or are you seeking out opportunities to work with other partners in different offices? Are you mentoring associates? Who are under you? Are you mentoring paralegals that are on your team? It's, it's a, it's a large scope of information and, and they collect it obviously all through your career, but they really focus on the last two years prior to the partnership vote. And the last step before going to vote is this partnership admission interview. It's exactly like you would expect it to be in a corner conference room in a high rise building in a large city. You know, floor to ceiling windows, large mahogany table in the middle. Fifteen of those black, high backed, leather conference room chairs around them full of partners. And then me. And you go to the partnership admission interview and, and by this time they know so much about you, I swear to God. I think they're just trying to make sure that you're not an asshole, that you can answer a simple question. You know, like, they want to lay eyes on you so that they can vouch for you when it goes to the partnership. Vote. The last question they asked me was, How will your job change if you are lucky enough to be invited to join the partnership? And because I'm a verbal processor, which is why podcasting works so great for me. I, I was kind of, I, one, I wasn't expecting the question and, you know, it wasn't like one of those standard interview questions that, you know, what is your greatest weakness? Oh, well, I'm a perfectionist. For some reason, I wasn't prepared for it. And I hadn't really thought about it, so I'm working my way through an answer, which is I don't think my job is going to change that much. I'm already mentoring the associates on my team. I'm already bringing in a ton of business. I'm co chairing the marketing department for the Boise office. I'm co chairing the foundation committee for the Boise office. I mean, I was already acting as if I was a partner. So I said, I didn't think my job would change that much. Really. The only thing that would change is my title would go from of counsel to partner and of counsel just means that you're a senior attorney who is not a partner and is not really on the partnership track. Unless you're in the legal field, nobody knows what that is. So being a partner helps with business development because everyone wants to work with a partner. Um, so I told him, you know, I, I think it'll be easier for me to bring in business because my, my title will change. And then the only other thing that I could think of that would change is I'd be making more money. So the way I was compensated. And with that, the meeting was over and I flew back to Boise. And there was something about that question that did just this little niggle that I could not get it out of my head for, for weeks. I just kept thinking about it, not because I hadn't answered it correctly, because I started thinking, When have you ever done anything for money? And I, I hadn't up until that point. I mean, there were points in my career where because I had a really good opportunity, I would actually take a pay cut if I was making a job change. So money, money is great, but for me it was never the, the highest motivating factor on whether I was going to take a job or not. The other thing that I just couldn't move past was this whole idea that I've been suffering from a case of the Sundays for years. How did I think that that was going to go away just because I was a partner? In fact, I'd already told them, and truthfully, rightfully so, that my job wasn't going to change at all. I mean, if I really thought about it, it would probably get a little more political, right? Because I'd be going to more meetings, uh, involved in more leadership, which always has good and bad with it, right? You certainly have to play the politics game a little bit more. But, did I want to still carry that Sunday shit with me every week? Did I want to live a future where I was billing 40, 50, 60 hours a week? Is that what I really had envisioned for my life? After thinking about it for a couple of weeks, I went into the administrative partner's office and I waited until the last part of the day to walk into his office. And there were a couple of times, because, you know, I'm pretty anxious about it. Like, this is, this is a big decision. And I, I was really nervous about it. And I would walk by his office a couple of times and the door was closed, or he was in a meeting, or he was on the phone. I was like, oh, thank God. I don't have to do it right now. But I waited until the very last minute after work hours that day. And I still remember, you know, I had my navy blue, it was the middle of summer. So it was, it was July and I had this sleeveless, um, navy blue poplin mini dress on, very attorney, but also summer, whatever. And I walk in and I sit down and I say, I'm going to make this really easy on the partnership admission committee. I'm withdrawing my name from consideration for partnership. He takes off his glasses and just kind of rubs his eyes a little bit. Like, this, this is not what I was hoping for you to come in here and tell me. Puts his glasses back on, looks at me, and I, and then I just continued and I said, and I'm leaving the firm. I'm leaving the law. And it was, I'm not gonna say angels sang at that moment, but I could just feel this weight on my shoulders. Dissipate. That, yes, I was anxious to go in and essentially walk away from the career that I had gone to college for for four years, spent three years in law school, graduated with 130, 000 of law school debt in 1998. So that was, that was more than people paid for their mortgage on their first house. Some of them had even on their second house, right? It was a big chunk of money. But for the first time ever. Even though I still had loans to pay back because yeah, I was, I was I was in it 20 years, but the interest rates were high, and I had a lot of debt to pay back. But I just, I figured there was some way that I could figure this out. And there was some way that I could do something that I wouldn't dread going to work every week. I didn't know what that was then. I know that was the right choice. At the time, I did not know why. And this is where the whole mind blowing realization that I recently had came in to be. And I think it's exactly why so many high performing women experience this sort of midlife angst, or this midlife questioning, or this feeling of what's next for me, or I'm running out of time, or how can I, How can I do what I want to do when I don't even know what that is? So, however you label it, I think a lot of us find ourselves in that spot. And what occurred to me just recently was I had said in fifth grade I was going to become an attorney. 5th grade when I was tapped to play the part of an attorney in my history class in 5th grade. My client lost because I had spent the better part of the night before worrying about was the clothing that I was wearing, did it look attorney enough? Um, so actually I wore a brown herringbone tweed blazer. This cream ruffled front blouse with a, with a bow on it. Probably had a skirt on. But I remember the blazer and the blouse. And I spent a lot of time picking that out because I wanted to look just right. I spent so much time thinking about my wardrobe that I started panicking the night before because I didn't have my argument written out. And I was kind of talking back and forth with my dad about it. And we were sussing out what the argument could be and how I could best represent my client. And, and I begged him to essentially distill our conversation, which, which were my comments and, and my thoughts. But dad, can you please write them on the little index cards so that when I go up to the front and I deliver it. Like, it'll be written in sentences, and instead of just this, all this, whatever's going on in my head. And he did, he wrote it down in his perfectly printed penmanship. And so it's time to go up. It's my time to shine, it's my time to present. I get up, and the cards, unbeknownst to me, fall out of my peachy as I'm walking to the front of the room. I get to the front, and I'm searching through the peachy, and I cannot find my cards. And of course my whole brain goes blank because I, I, I don't even know what I'm going to say. Because I hadn't rehearsed it. I was, I had talked about it just very loosely with my dad. I had read the cards after he had distilled it and I had no idea what I was going to say. My client lost. But from that point forward, I was like, I'm going to be an attorney. Like, I declared it at that point. And I did it because looking back, I did it for two reasons. Number one, it seemed like an important job to me. It seemed like something somebody smart and successful would do. They would be an attorney. And for those of you who are about my age, you know that when we When I went to school, there, it felt like there were only so many jobs that so many careers that were available to us, you know, attorney, doctor, teacher, engineer, nurse, it was a much different environment, especially in fifth grade. No one should be choosing their career in fifth grade, but I did. But I chose it for two reasons. Number one, because it seemed like an important career. And two, it also seemed like it was a stable career that I could support my family. Why was a stable career important? Important to me because I grew up very middle class. No one was worrying about, you know, is, is there gonna be food on the table this week? But my parents fought about money a lot, especially, you know, if it wasn't payday Friday, it just felt like there was a lot of tension in the house about how much money there was and was there enough to spend. And I. At least in fifth grade, I was aware enough of it to realize that I wanted something different for my life. That if I could have a career where I wasn't living paycheck to paycheck, that sounded great. And for my little fifth grade mind, I was like an attorney. It's important. It's stable. I won't be living paycheck to paycheck. Perfect. And what's so interesting, and this is the part that I realized just recently, was like, holy shit. I decided in fifth grade I was going to be an attorney. And so I did it. Right? Fifth grade Laurie said, this is what your life is going to look like. And so, because I'm a woman of my word, even In, when I'm 10 years old, I did the damn thing. From that point on, it was like, okay, well, how do I become an attorney? I, I, I went to college. I even made sure that there wasn't any special pre law course of study. You could, you could really end up with any sort of degree and go to law school. So I picked a major that was interesting to me, that was fun. It was design and planning studies in the College of Architecture and Urban Planning, so I could flex that kind of creative muscle that I have, and I got to build things and draw things, and it was great. I loved it. But with this idea, you know, I'm never gonna do that for a job. I just, I'm gonna go to law school. And then I went to law school and every decision I made growing up was how do I become an attorney? And then once I became an attorney, once I graduated and had my first job, it was as though I was searching for this Attorney job that would bring me the fulfillment and satisfaction that I was craving because I was doing exactly what I was expected to do. What, what was I, I was doing exactly what I had told myself I was going to do, which was I'm going to become an attorney. And I never once from that point on. Questioned whether that was the right thing for me until I'd been doing it for 20 fucking years, right? I, I may be the slowest learner ever. Or maybe it was just my blind optimism that thought, you know what, if I just stick with this. Someday it's gonna all feel right. I'm going to find the perfect job as an attorney that finally lights me up. That I don't have a case of the Sundays anymore. I love going to work. I love what I do. And I never found it. Because it wasn't what I wanted. And that's what I recently figured out, was no wonder being an attorney wasn't filling me up, wasn't making me happy, wasn't, sure it was paying the bills, but from a mental standpoint, from an emotional standpoint, it was not what I wanted. And when I look back, I wonder if I would have been a little bit more self aware. Would you have actually done all that to become an attorney when it's probably not what you wanted? It might have been what 5th grade Laurie wanted, it's not what midlife Laurie wanted. And that's the part that I think so many of us Have gotten to midlife on this path that we envisioned at some point in our life. Well, either we envisioned it or someone envisioned it for us. Like we were kind of given the, the, this is what you're going to do. But I think more and more as high performing midlife women, we have to stop and we have to ask ourselves. Is the life that we're living, is that what our younger self wanted? Or is that what we actually want in life? And it's okay that that changes. I mean, maybe it was what year old you wanted. Or 30 year old you wanted. Or maybe even 40 year old you wanted. But what do you want now? What do you want for the second half of your life? And that's the, that, that's the crux. That's the thing that you actually have to figure out. Because that fulfillment The satisfaction, the happiness that we are all seeking, that sometimes feels like, like we're never gonna get there. We just keep adding more to our to do list. We just keep pushing off our own dreams. We, we think, I will finally feel The way I expected to feel once I get the next promotion, once I earn the next achievement, once I retire, once the kids graduate. I mean, we keep pushing out our own personal satisfaction and happiness until someday. Because we don't know what we want. And when we don't know what we want, we can't, one, we can't put together a plan to make that want, that wanting. We, we don't know how to bring that and make that a reality. We don't know how to bring it to life. But because we don't know what we want, we also just stay doing what it is that we have always done with this expectation that at some point, we're going to feel the way we think we should feel. At some point, we'll be able to do something different. At some point, if the time is right and everyone else is settled and the timing is perfect, Everything else is going swimmingly and the lives of everyone around me, then, then I'll be able to do what I want to do. But it all starts with what do you want? What do you actually want? Not, not what your parents taught you would want. Not what society tells you to want. Not what your friends say you should want. Not what social media says you should want. But what is it you actually want? That's where you need to start. And then once you know that, and there are plenty of ways that, that we drill down into that answer. Because if, if it were as easy to figure out by just saying, what do I want? Then we would all know it's not that easy. So there are ways that I work with my coaching clients to really tease that out, to drill down and get to the kernel of what it is you actually want. And once we know that, then we can take it a step further, which is. Okay, now I know what I want when I think about living a successful life, when I think about what does success mean to me, that's the second step is we, we figure out, well, the definition of success that we are taught from a very young age is what is your job title and how much money do you make that hasn't been working for us because so many of us are successful and yet we still want for more. We don't know why. Okay. Well, it's because we are living, not only a life that maybe we want, maybe we don't, but we've been conditioned to want it. We're, we're living by someone else's definition of success. So we need to just do some reprogramming. We don't have to throw the baby out with the bathwater. We don't have to start all over. We don't have to burn down our existing life. We don't have to press the restart button and start over. I mean, some of you might, but for the most part, it's just some really small tweaks. What do you want? How do you define success? And then once you know the answer, your personal answer to those two things, then we get really clear on Man, if I could wave a magic wand right now and give you your dream life, your best life, what does that even look like? Because if you're like me, for most of us, we stopped dreaming a very long time ago. And I'm not talking about like princess and unicorn type of dreams. I'm talking about Well, fifth grade Laurie wanted to be an attorney. That was her dream. She made that her reality. And then she finally realized, this is, this is weird that I'm talking about myself in the third person, but, but then I finally realized, you know what? That's not my dream anymore. And for a lot of us, it's time to actually dream some adult dreams. A dream is just an aspiration. It's a, it's a vision of something you want. It's, it's a way of, of being. It's, it's open ended. So many of us have really gotten, confused isn't the right word, but we mix up goals and dreams. Where goals are these actionable steps, they're detailed plans, there's timelines involved. And we seem to think that if we are accomplishing a lot of goals, then we're accomplishing a lot of dreams, and we're making those dreams a reality. But dreams are bigger than that. They're more Undefined, they require you to step back and actually imagine some things instead of constantly being in the doing dreams actually make you step back and think about how do I want to be? How do I want to show up? How do I want to live my life? And then once we know that, once we know what your best life looks like, once we know what that best life dream is, then we can create some goals that support that, some milestones to actually make that your reality. But it all starts with what do you want? And for so many high performing women, we have been focused on creating the reality that we dreamed when we were young. And because we've been so focused on that, because we've been so focused on doing the things that we said we would do, we thought we wanted, we're just on the, we're on the plan. It's, it's on the plan. It's on the checklist. It's on autopilot for a lot of us. Because we've been doing that, we have Forgotten to, neglected to, we have not stopped to take a step back and think is this still what I want? Because just like dreams, those wants can change over time. And that doesn't mean that you're not successful, or you've done something wrong, or you're a bad person. But we, we have to be able to change our mind. Because we've got more experience, we've got more life behind us. We've done. More things and when we were young and we set those, uh, initial dreams for our life. And so it's time to check in and say, Is this still working for me? Is this still what I want? And if the answer is no, then let's do something about it before it's too late. And again, I'm not saying let's start all over. You don't have to end your marriage and move to a new town and give up your career. It's very possible that some pieces of your life just aren't working for you anymore. And that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. You 100 percent will not have to start from zero, but at least you'll be living a life that is authentic to you. One that is what you want. One that is the definition that you give of success. One that is, when you close your eyes and you think about your best life, that is the life I want you to be living. If that sounds like something that you would be interested in, there are a couple of coaching opportunities that are coming up in March that you should be aware of. I am opening up just a small handful of one on one coaching spots. Uh, I, I don't do this very often, so there are some spots to work one on one with me. There will also be a new intake of the GAP here, which is the School of Midlife Signature Group Pro Group Coaching Program. It's been completely retooled. Um, I'm very excited about how that is being rolled out. Instead of a year long program, you get all of the information, all of the modules, all of the coaching the minute you sign up. And it's a self paced program with a six week accelerator. I, I'll, I'll, I'll tell you more about that as we, as we get closer, but, um, If that's something that's interesting to you, then, then I'll drop a clickable link in the show notes and you can get yourself signed up on the priority list so that you are aware of when the intake is happening. But I'm gonna leave you with this. We can one shot at this life. And most of us are living pretty damn good lives. It just feels like something's missing. And it's time to find out what that is. It's time to start living a life that is meaningful to adult you. That makes sense with the dreams that adult you is dreaming. It's, it's so great that little us, you know, that are, that little girl who had all of these dreams and aspirations, many of which we have already fulfilled, we have already achieved, now it's time to do something different. It's time to figure out how we want to spend the second half of our life. It's time to dream some adult dreams so that we can make the second half of our life our very best life yet. Make, make midlife your best life, right? I'm curious, what is this bringing up for you? When you think about your life right now, and you think about the dreams that you were dreaming as little you Is your life that you're living right now, is it closer to the dreams you were dreaming when you were little, or has it changed? Do you, do you find that you have actually become an adult dreamer? I, I know that a lot of people feel like dreams are really wishy washy, but you can't create the life you want to live if you don't have the picture of what that looks like. And what that takes is some time to actually Again, think about what you want, how you define success, what your best life looks like. And that is going to require you to take a step back, take a pause, and really, if you don't like dream, but think big picture, think pie in the sky. Think if you could wave a magic wand and live the life that of your dreams. Your best life. What would that look like? Is that a closer to what adult you thinks for her life? Or are you still living like I was living for so long? Are you still living according to those dreams that little you dreamed? I'd love to know. Let me know. Take a screenshot of wherever you're listening to the podcast today, screenshot that, tag me, let me know. I would love to hear from you. Thank you so much for being here today. Like I said, I am always thrilled to have you here to spend some time with me each week. And will you let me know Do you like the video format? Do you prefer the audio? Will you ever watch the video? Are you just going to stick to audio? Shoot me a DM or send me an email because I would just love to hear what you think. Have a great week. I will see you back here next week when the School of Midlife is back in session. Until then, take good care. Thank you so much for listening to the School of Midlife podcast. It means so much to have you here each week. If you enjoyed this episode, could you do me the biggest favor and help us spread the word to other midlife women? There are a couple of easy ways for you to do that. First, and most importantly, If you're not already following the show, would you please subscribe? That helps you because you'll never miss an episode, and it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. Second, if you'd be so kind to leave us a five star rating, that would be absolutely incredible. And finally, I personally read each and every one of your reviews, so if you'd take a minute and say some nice things about the podcast, well, that's just good karma. Thanks again for listening. I'll see you right back here next week, when the School and Midlife is back in session. Until then, take good care.