95. The Perfect Gift You Don't Even Need to Wrap: Take a Gap Year

In this week’s episode, Laurie introduces you to the perfect gift to give yourself this year: a spot in the Gap Year. The Gap Year is the School of Midlife’s yearlong program for high-performing midlife women to figure out who they are, what they actually want, and what matters most in this season of life.

Claim your spot in the 2025 class before the doors close on December 20th!

If you’re looking to make 2025 your best year yet, it’s time for your Gap Year.

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Transcript

0:01

Welcome to the School of Midlife podcast. I'm your host, Laurie Reynoldson. This is the podcast for the midlife woman who starting to ask herself big life questions. Like, what do I want? Is it too late for me? And what's my legacy beyond my family and my work. Each week we're answering these questions and more. At the School of Midlife, we're learning all of the life lessons they didn't teach us in school and we're figuring out finally what it is we want to be when we grow up. Let's make midlife your best life. Hey friends. It's Laurie. Welcome back to another episode of the School of Midlife podcast. I am so happy to have you with us today. In today's episode, we are going to talk about the best gift to give yourself this year. I mean, it's the perfect color. It's the perfect size. And let's be honest. No one. Buys gifts as good as you buy for everybody else. So you might as well buy a special one for yourself. So let's dive in. I don't know if you're anything like me, but when I go shopping, especially at the holidays. Well, because if I'm out shopping at the holidays, that means that I don't know what I'm buying for somebody it's, it's almost like I'm out looking for some inspiration. Which invariably means that I go to the mall or I go downtown or I go wherever I'm shopping. And typically I just come home with gifts for myself. And probably nothing for the people in the list that I'm trying to buy last minute gifts for that, you know, I'm, I'm only doing it because I think, oh, I can't show up empty handed or this person needs one more gift or whatever reason I come up with my head. But. I always seem to end up coming home with a new cashmere sweater for myself, or a fancy new multicolored wool scarf, or an entire new outfit or something else that. I do not need and did not set out to buy. When I headed out to go shopping. And here's the thing. I don't need any more stuff. Right. Um, and you probably don't either. It just it's that I'm in the shopping mood and I'm buying things. And because I can't find. What I'm looking for for other people. I just come home with another sweater, but. We all have everything we need. If you're listening to this podcast, you're not worried about where your next meal is coming from. You are not worried about. How am I going to pay the rent this month? How am I going to pay the utility bills this month? We are, we're fortunate in that we all have everything that we need, so we don't need another hat with a pompom on it. We don't need another pair of gloves. And if we did, we would just go buy it for ourselves. So. As far as gifting goes. I prefer to gift experiences, especially to my friends, because well, one, we, we just don't see each other enough. Life gets in the way and we're running around things get hectic. We can go four or five months without seeing each other or talking to each other. So instead of sending my friend, another pair of pajamas or a favorite candle or a book, which, which are all great gifts, I would just prefer to spend time with them. I'd prefer to either meet up with them and go out for a special dinner or. Meet somewhere. Go on a trip together. They have everything that they need. So they don't need something else from me just to have something to open. Does that make sense? Which brings me back to what I want to talk about today, which is. Instead of going to the mall and buying something for yourself that you don't need, that you already have. That you're just buying because you went to the mall or you went downtown and you don't want to come home empty handed. If you're looking for the perfect gift for yourself, it's not at the mall. It's not downtown. You probably can't even wrap it in a box As a high-performing midlife woman, your best gift to yourself. Is to let yourself live authentically. To allow yourself to step into that best life that is. Out there for you. And it's, I'm not saying that you don't have a great life because so many of us do. But I also know from years of coaching that we get to midlife. We've got a great life. And it just feels like something's missing and we feel a little guilty because, you know, God, we got so much more than other people do. So we don't want to. SIEM greedy or. That we're not grateful. But, you know, we, we just, we want a little something different. We want to be happy. I feel like so many of us are chasing fulfillment and satisfaction and happiness. That we just keep adding more to our lists thinking I'll be happy when I, when I. Retire, and then I can enjoy life. After the kids leave or after I'm able to retire, I'll get my parents settled and we just keep pushing off the life that we want to live a life. That should be really important to us. A life that's that's meaningful to us. And instead of living that right now, we just keep pushing it off to some point in the future. I'm here to tell you today that if you're really looking for the perfect gift for yourself, It's not in a store. You can't wrap it in a present. You can't open it. There's no, actually no wrapping paper involved here, which is great because some of us don't even like wrapping gifts. The best gift you could possibly give yourself is to step into, to become the person that you were always meant to be. To live that life of fulfillment and happiness and satisfaction. Which is why for the first time ever. Um, thrilled to open up the doors to the gap year this year at Christmas time, because we're in gift giving mood. Right. And. There are a lot of times at other points in the year where we, we can feel a little guilty for spending money on ourselves and unless it's our birthday, but. We feel like. That money instead of spending it on herself, it should be spent elsewhere. So we spend it somewhere else. We find someone else to spend it on. But what that's actually doing is it's. Robbing ourselves of. Showing ourselves gratefulness and appreciation for the person. Not only who we are becoming, but the person that we are right now. So let's talk about the gap year. The gap year is the signature coaching program for the school of midlife. I think a lot of us think about a gap year as something to do between high school and college or between college and real life before starting your job. But. If you're about my age and you're a high-achieving midlife woman, you know, that we did not take a gap year. We were in college. Most of us were trying our best to get out of college so that we could immediately. Go and start making money. Because most of us did not have a trust fund. Most of us didn't have a bunch of money to spend most of us. Could barely afford college. So the last thing that we wanted to do was stay in school for five or six or seven years, rack up a bunch of debt when we could. Graduate, go get a job. Start making money. And. Like for most of us. We didn't have the luxury of deciding to take a year off, to figure out. What we really wanted to do with our life. Instead, we just started working. Because we needed to pay back those loans or we needed to pay back our parents. Or we needed to make rent payments. We didn't. We didn't have the ability to be like, yeah. You know what? I think I'm, I'm just going to go travel around Europe for a year. Which is much different than a lot of our own kids, we encourage them to go see the world have some experience because we know that. It's so hard to find time after we start working. So we went to school, we earned our degree and then. Almost. As fast as we could graduate from college, then we started making money. And it wasn't is this job fulfilling or satisfying? To me? The question was. Am I making money here? And once we started, once we got that first job and we started earning money. It just seemed like. How can we do more of that? You know, Let's get a promotion. Let's take on more responsibility at work, maybe change jobs, but there was never this opportunity to step back. Check in with ourselves. Ask ourselves is this really. Is this path for me? Is it, is it fulfilling? Is it satisfying? Is it making me happy? Instead of asking those questions, it was like, how can I make more money? And since most of us did not have the opportunity to take a gap year. Early on in our life. The cool thing about a gap year is. It can be a year or part of a year. Any time in our life. So for the high-performing midlife women in the school of midlife, I think. A gap year in midlife is the perfect chance. The perfect time to take a gap year because we've got some experience under our belt. We know what we like and what we don't like. We know what we will tolerate. Not all of us. Have a great idea of what it is we actually want in life, but we sure as hell know what we don't want anymore of. Right. I mean, so if you could do something completely different with your life. What, what would you do? That's a question that. Most of us have never. Taken the time to ask ourselves. Or if we have asked ourselves, we've never. For the most part, taken enough time to sit with it, to really figure out what the answer is instead. We just were always onto the next, what is the next thing I'm supposed to do? What is the next thing I should do? And we did that with the expectation that we would get to midlife and we will be rewarded with this incredible life. All of this experience, all of this opportunity. And then whatever we wanted to do. In midlife and beyond, we would be able to do that. I don't know about you, but as I age into midlife, There is. Less opportunity so far. To do the things I want to do, unless I'm intentional about making that my reality. Here's what I mean by that. As you get older. We've got caregiving responsibilities with our parents. We are. At the top of our game. In our careers. So we've got employees who are needing our time. Our kids are becoming adults and also needing. More of our time. I mean, If we didn't think we had time before to devote ourselves. Midlife. It's, it's even harder to carve out that time. If we're just looking for it, we have to actually like draw a line in the sand and say, I'm not going to keep living this way. I need to figure out. What I want to do, I have to figure out what is important to me. And that's what we do in the gap here. The gap year is rooted in. The one-on-one coaching that I have. I provided to my coaching clients for the last five years. And I've coupled that foundation with some of the experiential learning from the best life retreats. And the VIP days that I do with a handful of one-on-one clients. So it's taking all of these different modalities. It's taking the different lessons. It's taking the different approaches. And it gives you the tools for you to figure out what do you want? Like. What do you really want in your life? Not. What have you been conditioned to want? Not what society tells you to want, not what your parents have told you to want, but what is it you actually want? And how do you define success? It's it's probably not. How many zeros are in your paycheck, it's probably not your title. But most of the time, we have never taken a step back or a pause in our life to figure out what does success mean to me? And we're going to look at what is your best life look like? Because if there's one thing I know, for sure you can't create a reality, if you don't know what that looks like. So. If we just keep working and adding more to our to-do list and chasing more accolades with the idea that all the sudden we're going to be. Uh, living our best life. That's not how it works. If that were the case, you'd already be living. The life of your dreams, but the fact that there's that little something that feels like it's missing or. Yes. Yes. I'm grateful. I've got this great life. I just, I feel like I I'm made for something more. Those little niggles. That means that there is something more out there for you. And you need to be the one who takes responsibility to figure out what that looks like. We are currently enrolling the 2025 class of the gap year. So. I'm just going to tick down through a couple of things and if you're a good fit for it, you should join us because. Now is the perfect time to start the program. Not only is it a gift that you can give yourself that you don't have to return? It's the perfect size. It's the perfect color. But. It is. Giving you. The tools, the space, the community, the support to figure out really what it is you want to be when you grow up and. Because. Most of us tend to focus the beginning of the year on making pretty substantial changes in our life to adopting new habits, to trying something new. Starting the gap year. In January is the absolute, perfect time to start, which will. Have these ripple effects all through 2025. I mean, you will get to the end of your gap year at the end of 2025, and there will be a demarcation point in your life where you think. All of this happened to me before they got here. And this is how I live my life after the gap year. It is that profound. It is that transformational. You might be wondering is a gap year for me. If. You have followed the success playbook to a T if you have earned a degree, landed a job, bought a house, got married, had kids raised them up. I worked your Roy up through the ranks. If you've done everything you were supposed to do. If you've accomplished all of the things, but you still feel. Unfulfilled. You're, you're not sure. Of what's next for you? The gap year would be a perfect fit for you. If you have everything, you've always thought you ever wanted career family, nice house, nice cars stamps in your passport, but you still feel like something is missing in your life. You're not sure what that is. It just feels like you were made for something more. But here's the rub by all outward appearances. It seems like you're living the perfect life. And you might find yourself wondering why can't I just be happy with all that I have. If you fall in that camp, the gap year is perfect for you. If you're someone who constantly feels like you need to learn one more thing or chase one more achievement or earn one more accolade to make your life complete. So you busy up your time reading another article, or maybe subscribing to another podcast. I hope you stick around and keep listening to the school of midlife podcast, of course, but you know, you're attending one more conference it's it feels like you're desperately searching for the next right answer to find the fulfillment and happiness you've been looking for. The gap year. Perfect for you. It's also great. If you are a woman who, since you have turned 40, you can't shake the feeling that you're running out of time. And you you're healthy. You eat. Mostly well, And you're consuming protein. Like it's your job. Because you're, you're in midlife, your strength chaining. You're walking around in a way to vest. But this is what you're doing. All the things that you're supposed to do. But you still feel like this unshakable pressure to figure it out. Before you run out of time. If you're in that camp, you should join us in the gap year. The gap here is also perfect. If you would like to do something different in your life, whether that's changed jobs or relationships, move to a new house or a new city. But you get almost paralyzed by the fear of judgment from your parents. Or your spouse or your colleagues or your friends? Like you can't do the things that you really want to do in your life because what will they think of you? You should join the gap here. If any of those. Describe your life even a little bit. I can't emphasize enough that. What you're feeling. You're going to continue to feel that unless you do something different. Albert Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again, and expecting a different result. So if you continue living your life, your, your great life, just the one that feels like something's a little missing or one that's that's good enough, but doesn't seem to be bringing you all of the filament and joy and satisfaction that you expected to have. Once you got to this point in your life, you know, once you had everything you always thought you ever wanted. The truth is if you stay busy doing all the things for everyone else, if you're not intentional about making change in your own life. Then you're just going to keep delaying anything and everything that you actually want to do for yourself. Until you retire or until the kids leave the house or until you lose the next 15 pounds or until the time is right. Or until the time is perfect or until some day. But here's the problem. And hear me, the time will never be right. There is no perfect time. There is no. Day on the calendar that says some day. So your going to always be waiting. You're always going to be pushing your personal happiness, your personal fulfillment, your personal satisfaction. To the future. Like that's something that you will take care of and hopefully achieve. Someday when the time is right. But I don't have to tell you that you're the one that has to decide that you're going to stop waiting. That you're going to get for the first time ever. Maybe you're going to get really clear. On what it is you want. And you're going to double down on creating that life for yourself to start creating your best life and start living it before you run out of time. What the gap, your offers you is this incredible 12 month experiential based coaching program, which is designed for high achieving women who have been crushing it in their professional life. Whether that's in a traditional office setting or as a CEO of your household. So on the one hand you're doing. Great from a business standpoint, but on the other hand, you're, you're just feeling a little drift or stuck. Like something's missing. Something better or more or different is out there for you. So what the gap year does is it gives you a 12 month container to figure out who you are. What you actually want and what matters most in this season of life. You can expect to figure out what you want and put together a clear path on. Making that your reality. You can expect to feel grounded and settled in knowing who you are and living as authentically you. Instead of trying to keep up all those appearances, which can we be honest? It's simply exhausting. Isn't it? I mean, if you spend your entire life acting as if you're someone you're not. It's exhausting. In the gap year, you can expect to gain clarity, which will allow you to focus on all of the right things in your life. That. You'll actually be able to finally. Maybe for the first time ever recognize exactly what you want, how you define success. And what your best life looks like so that you can create that life that you want to live. You'll find that at the end of the 12 months, You'll finally be living unapologetically as yourself. Instead of the person who everyone else expects you to be. Which means. You're giving no more fucks. Right? You're you're no longer apologizing for doing what's important to you even. If it's not. Convenient for those around you. And. At the end of the day after the gap year, you will have a clear understanding of how to make midlife your best life. So Y 12 months. This is by design a year long container for you to sort these things out. Because a lot of coaching programs are six weeks long or eight weeks long. And I, I have participated in those myself. I've I've even delivered those. So I've been on both sides of it. And I'll tell you what I know for certain. As a high-achieving midlife woman, you already have a lot on your plate. So if a program is six or eight weeks long, The likelihood that you'll have a vacation during that time, a large project, something going on with your family. Some major appointments or obligations that you cannot change. The likelihood of that happening during one of those weeks is very high. What happens if you miss a week or you missed two weeks? Invariably, you never go back. You never go back and finish the program. Instead, you just throw up your hands. You put it on a shelf You just assume that. Time's not right for you. And you move on. And you never finished the program. That's why the gap year is 12 months long, because if you get behind a couple of weeks, You still have. Weeks months to catch up. There is so much extra time baked into each monthly module so that if you cannot listen to the material in the first week, there's no problem. So let me back up. Each month. There is a different module, a different focus for that month. And the. Coach and materials. I come out the first week of the month. In two forms. Video lessons that you can watch or a private podcast that you can listen to. Either way you want to consume the information. There are. Curated exercises. That help you workshop and work through the materials. So. If you're somebody who likes to watch videos. Great. You can watch the videos. If you're someone who prefers to listen. Two podcasts on your walk or while you're driving in your car. Then listen to the private podcast. It doesn't matter how you consume the materials. The fact that there are the videos and the podcasts. That's so that the gap year. Works with your schedule. Week one of each month. The new coaching materials drop for the month. The second week of the month, there is a live coaching call. So anything that you have questions on, anything that you need to workshop? Anything that you're, you're getting hung up on while you're working through the materials. No problem. Bring that to the coaching call. Those those week two coaching calls also include hot seats. So if there's something in your life that you're trying to work through, Maybe you're trying to ask for a promotion at work. Maybe your, your getting stuck communicating with your teenager and you need some pointers on how to approach a sticky conversation. Maybe you're just having troubles talking to your spouse. Well, the beautiful thing about working through. These materials in a community like the gap year is. All of the women in there are they're going through exactly the same things you are. They hit, they have the same level of experience. They're the same ages by and large. And. They've encountered similar experiences. They've gone through similar issues. So it's not just me who is leading the coaching, but it's like, you've got this trusted board of advisors. These, these women who are in your cohort, the women who are also going through their gap year. And they're going to help you in your hot seat, work through your issues as well. It's it's a beautiful part of the gap year program is the supportive community of high performing midlife women who are also in the program. So new material drops the first week live coaching call. And the second week, the third week is mostly an open week. If there is anything that has come up during the live coaching that we need to drop supplemental coaching. Modules for that'll happen in the third week. And then the fourth week is an optional. Office hours call. So just like when you were in college and you would go see your professor. During his or her office hours. Same with this. I am live online. For a one hour period. If you have a question or you want to talk through something you pop on for office hours, if not. You don't show up. It's it's that simple. All the live coaching calls are recorded. So if you can't make it live, no problem. Watch the replay. You can see how. Every bit of the gap year is specifically. Created to work with your already busy lifestyle. This is not trying to add something else to your schedule. Another obligation. These are resources, this, this material that you will learn each month and you can immediately start applying it in your everyday life. So if you're worried that you don't have time right now to get into, to take on another project. Just no. That the, the tools. And the exercises in the gap year will actually help you. Unbusy. Busy your schedule. And what I mean by that is you're going to find out really early on what is a priority in your life and what isn't. And you're going to start shifting your focus to the things that are most important to you. And let the other things go. So you're, you will actually find that you will feel less busy working through the gap year than you. You do before you even start the gap here. Here's. The other reason that the gap year is 12 months long. You'll see all sorts of people on the internet. Say you need three weeks to start a new habit. Or 30 days. Everyone has a different opinion on how long. You need to create a new habit. One, that's going to stick for the longterm. I will tell you it's not 30 days. For most of us, it's probably not even 60 days. Because any of us can do. Anything. For 30 days. What happens after 30 days, then we just go back to doing what we were doing before. You want to lose weight? Sure you can, you can do a starvation diet for 30 days. It's not going to be fun, but as soon as you're done, you're just going to go back to eating the way you were eating before. Probably gain. Uh, definitely gained at least the way back that you lost, maybe a little bit more. Same thing with. Creating boundaries for work. Maybe you need a little bit more. Separation between your work life and your home life. And you can keep that up for 30 days. No problem. But then what happens when you get a rush project or what happens when your boss starts calling on the weekends and you start taking his or her calls? It gets really hard. To not slip back into those. Ways of doing the ways, the way we've always lived our life. I mean, how is it you think that you can move past. 45 plus years of conditioning. In 30 days, you can't. So with 12 months, You have a real opportunity to make meaningful. Sustainable change in your life. In addition to the monthly video and private podcasts. There is a workbook filled with exercises and progress, trackers and journaling prompts and activities. Um, the other thing is if there's enough interest, I have hand selected a book. To read every month that relates to that month's coaching. That can be discussed in a private book club. That's something that the founding class decided not to do. But in 2025, if. The group thinks that we want to do a book club, then we're going to do a book club. If you're someone who knows that you work better with a little one-on-one time, there's a private school option. This is, this is the VIP option. So I, for me, if there's a VIP option, I am always there. That's always the one that I choose because I like me a little VIP. I liked, I liked the, the, the extra attention. And for the gap year. That would be the private school option. You get everything that you would normally get with the gap year, but you also get quarterly one-on-one coaching calls for, so for an hour, each quarter, You get a one-on-one coaching call. Then you get two more coaching calls whenever you want to schedule them after your gap year. So after the year is up. And you just need some check-ins to, just to keep it going In the right direction. You get two of those. You also get a private room at the best life retreat. In 2025, the best life retreats are going. We're relaunching our study abroad. So you can choose whether you want to go to the Mexico retreat or the Italy retreat or return to the OGE sun valley, Idaho. Those dates have not been scheduled yet because I want to make sure that for. Those of you who sign up for private school, that you get input into the dates that we will hold those retreats. Mexico. We'll probably be late winter, early spring. I'm looking at fall for both the Italy retreat and the sun valley retreat. I got to tell you, if you are feeling like 20, 25 is going to be your year to. Really focus on yourself to make some big. Changes in your life to, to really experience that. Transformation on your way to finding the fulfillment and satisfaction and happiness you've been looking for if 20, 25 is your year. Then you must sign up for the private school option because there is something about. Getting away from. Life life, your, your every day. Routine. Leaving that behind for a week. Four days if you're in Idaho. A week to 10 days, if you go on one of the study abroad programs. When you can step away and just focus on yourself. It is the type of transformation that you will get. In no other way. there's something about a retreat that. Is the most transformational. So, if that sounds like something you're interested in, definitely check out the private school option. For the first time ever. There is a money back guarantee. I am so convinced. So the gap year will work for you that if it doesn't for any reason at all, I'll give you your money back with no questions asked. I mean. Think about it this way. If the gap year works for you, your life will never be the same. It will be dramatically. Different. And not, not that you have to set your whole life on fire to do this. But you will just have different tools and focus and understanding of who you are and what you want to do with your life. And you'll have clarity on who you want to be when you grow up. And. You'll you'll know exactly how you define success and you'll, you'll finally understand what your best life looks like and be able to create a plan. To make that your reality. So that's pretty great, but if you don't like the gap year for any reason, then just email me and show me that you've done the work and I'll give you your money back. And some of you might be thinking, well, that's shitty. Why do I have to show you that I've done the work. And the reason is simple it's because nothing works unless you use it. There are a lot of people who confuse buying something, acquiring something with accomplishing the thing that they want to accomplish. They think that if they purchase a course, that they're taking action. But the truth is nothing works unless you work it right. You can't buy a book about the. Health benefits of pushups and expect to. Have the health benefits of pushups. If you're not actually doing the pushups. Yeah, that makes sense. Right? You, you know what I'm talking about there? So. With the gap year is you have to do the work. You have to at least try to do the work. If you actually do the work, the gap year will work for you. But if you're not happy with it, for any reason, I'll give you your money back. Like I mentioned, doors are open. Now. And we will be taking new members of the class of 2025. Through Friday, December 20th at 11:59 PM. So you have just a handful of days to get yourself signed up. I know that this is a busy time of the year, so. Get yourself signed up on the 20th of December, but we aren't going to start until after the new year. There will be a kickoff call on January 7th and then we're actually not even going to start the work until the week of. January 13th. So you have almost a month to enjoy the holidays too. Decompress a bit to do some relaxation and get ready to make 2025 your best year yet. You can do it. The gap year is there for you to create the life that you've always wanted in a way that is. Sustainable and transformational and doable. With your already busy schedule, the gap year. We'll help you. I find that fulfillment, find the satisfaction, find the happiness that you have been craving your whole life. There is so much more on the website about the gap year, a little bit about what the individual modules look like. The things that we will be covering over the course of the next 12 months, there is an extensive. FAQ section. If you've got questions, let me know. I'm happy to answer any questions. I will leave a clickable link in the show notes so that you can learn more about the gap year. But again, if you have any questions, let me know. Let's talk about it. I hope. That. I see your name on. The 2025 roster for the gap year. And let's make 20, 25 your best year yet. Investing in yourself in the gap year is the perfect gift that you can give yourself this year. And the ripple effects into next year and the year beyond are immeasurable. And the best part about it is you don't have to stand in a return line because it is the perfect size and the perfect color. And. It's it's really the perfect gift that you can give yourself. So hope to see your name on the roster. If you have any questions, let me know. Otherwise, make it a great week and I will see you. right back here next week When the school. of midlife is back in session until then take good care. Thank you so much for listening to the School of Midlife podcast. It means so much to have you here each week. If you enjoyed this episode, could you do me the biggest favor and help us spread the word to other midlife women? There are a couple of easy ways for you to do that first. And most importantly, if you're not already following the show, would you please subscribe? That helps you because you'll never miss an episode. And it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. Second, if you'd be so kind to leave us a five-star rating, that would be absolutely incredible. And finally, I personally read each and every one of your reviews. So if you take a minute and say some nice things about the podcast, well, that's just good karma. Thanks again for listening. I'll see you right back here. Next week when the School of Midlife is back in session until then take good care.