44. One Thing at a Time: The Key to Creating Your Best Year Ever

In this episode, Laurie talks about the importance of choosing just one big goal -- your one thing -- to focus on to create your best year ever. She explains the difference between "throw-away goals" and "real goals," and how just one action or decision can have a profound impact on your year. Then, she walks you through the process to breakdown the one thing to minimize overwhelm and maintain momentum all year long. A must-listen for anyone chasing a big goal this year!

LINKS AND MENTIONS:
🎙Hoping for Your Best Year Yet? Start With Your Year-End Review

🎙Closing Time: Why Complete a Year-End Review? (Part 1)

🎙Closing Time: Initial Impressions of 2023 (Part 2)

🎙Closing Time: The Best 11 Questions for an Effective Year-End Review (Part 3)

🗓️Laurie's Favorite Wall Calendar

🌈Laurie's Favorite Post-It Notes

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In this week's episode of the school of midlife podcast, we're talking all about the one thing. The one decision, the one action that you could take this year. That could change everything for you. The one thing that would make 2020 for your best year ever. You won't want to miss it. And I cannot wait to share it with you. Welcome to the School of Midlife podcast. I'm Laurie Reynoldson, former award-winning attorney turned high performance coach for midlife women. I designed this podcast is your go-to place for weekly midlife inspiration, step-by-step actionable coaching and candid conversations about mid-life relationships, career moves, money, menopause, and so much more. So take out your reading glasses and notebooks. My friends, because the School of Midlife is in session. Hey friends. Welcome back to the school of midlife podcast. I am so happy you are here today. For the past several weeks. I've been talking about how looking back at last year will actually help you have your best year ever in 2024. There have been, gosh, four episodes. I think if you haven't already listened to the closing time series that dropped during the week between Christmas and new years. Where I talked about the reasons why a year-end review is important. I also created a 14 page workbook for you to use, to walk you through how to complete. The most effective year-end review. Essentially, it starts with a high level 30,000 foot level. You know, what were your impressions of 2023? And then sort of like a detective looking for clues then really diving into last year and getting crystal clear on what was great, what was not so good. Maybe what you want to leave behind in 2023. And what you want to take with you in 2024. In fact, there were 11 questions that help you get super dialed in. On. What happened last year. And how do you want to use that to set you up for next year? And then once you've completed the work of the year-end review, Last week's episode explained how to use that information you discovered in your year-end review to create your best year yet. So, if you haven't listened to those four episodes, You'll get more out of this episode. If you go back and listen to them first. I'll add clickable links to them in the show notes. So super easy. All you have to do is pause this episode, scroll down to the show notes and click on the link or links to the episodes that you've missed quickly listened to them. And then you can come back. But I also know that there, there are several of you out there. Who you're already here and you aren't into playing catch-up. I get it. So for whatever reason, you don't want to go back and listen to the episodes from last couple of weeks. That's totally fine. Stay with me here and listen. Today's episode. Trust me though. You'll get a lot more out of it. If you listen. Then go back and listen to the prior episodes and then maybe relisten to today's episode after you've caught up on the other. Four episodes, how, however you want to do it. Okay. So, so far we focused only on 2023. Notice that we haven't set any 20, 24 goals yet. I know that might feel a little weird to you. And that's because it is. Different. From what we've always been taught. And in fact, it might feel a little counterintuitive to you. Because for pretty much our entire lives. We've been conditioned to hit the ground running on January one. At work we're expected to start On those new business goals right away. Right? It's a new year start now. So it makes sense that over time we've created this expectation of ourselves that the calendar pages turned. So now it's time to go all in. But here's the thing. There are no bonus points for starting fast. This. Even though it's overused. This is not a sprint. This is not a point we're getting out of the blocks fast. We'll help you in any way. Uh, any, any runners out there? Like, runner's not. W, you know, now you run marathons for fun, or you, you do your 10 K um, on Thanksgiving with your family, but runners, like where you in track and field in high school. I was a sprinter. 100 meter, 200 meter and the four by one and the four by 200 meter relays. I was a sprinter. I was fast, short bursts of speed. I, I ran at the state track meet. Um, I did not win at the state track meets, but I qualified to run at state meets. So I was a decent sprinter. But I was terrible out of the blocks. My reaction time. Um, very ma. Just. The gun would go off and I get out of the blocks, but I was usually one of the last out of the blocks. However, once I was in motion. I easily catch up with the girls. I was running against the ones who had just beat me out of the blocks, the ones who got off and started really fast. Oftentimes I'd win those races. Not because I was first out of the blocks, but because I had great finishing speed. So, not, because I w I'd won the start in fact. I started in whatever place I started, but I kept moving in. I actually gained speed and momentum as the race went on. And oftentimes I pass those fast starters. So let's bring it back to goal setting. This is exactly why we haven't set any goals yet. We need to get out of the box first. And we do that by taking a critical look at 2023. Figuring out where we're going in 20, 24, and only after we have done all that. Will we be ready to set some goals for 2024. So it was a goal time yet. Get it. Not go time, but goal time. Okay. I know. It wasn't really that funny for, so forgive me, but sometimes I just crack myself up here when I've got the microphone. Anyway. In today's episode. Um, Circling back let's let's focus on the one thing that could change everything for you this year. If you completed your homework from last week's episode. You know, That I asked you to. Take a look at. What do you want more of in 2024? What do you want less of in 2024. You also sifted through all of that information. And you chose one thing. That will help make the biggest difference in your life in 2024. One action. One decision. Something, the one thing. That could change everything. For your life. Before we get there though. I want to spend a moment to talk about the difference between what I call real goals. And throw away goals. Throw away goals are the ones that your most familiar with. They're the goals that you put on your list and, you know, you'll achieve them. You know, you'll reach them. So for you list makers out there. Listen up because this will be particularly good for you to hear. Throw away goals are more like to do items. You absolutely know, you'll complete them. You put them on the list because you'll achieve them. And you'll get some dopamine hit when you get to check it off. At work. A throwaway goal could look like a sales goal. That you know, you'll hit. because maybe your bonus is tied to hitting your sales goal. So if that's the case, you might as well set a goal that's achievable, right? If your compensation depends on it, set a goal you can meet. So you get paid. A throwaway goal. Outside of work. A throwaway goal could look like a goal to say. Walk 30 minutes, five days each week. Notice you didn't choose seven days a week because that would mean that you'd have to do something every day. And your logical brain then kicks in and asks. What if I get sick? Or what about when I'm on vacation? And you start thinking that you won't be able to achieve the goal. If you say the goal is seven days a week. So you choose five. See how these are more. Goals or tasks to give you something, to check off a list, You know, you'll achieve them. There is no stretch goal here. These are what I call, throw away goals. Real goals on the other hand, our goals or dreams or realities that you may or may not ultimately achieve. And that's okay. Because a goal. Should not be about the achievement. It's about who you have to become to achieve the goal. I'm going to say that again. It's not about the achievement. It's about who you have to become to achieve the goal. So you start looking at like what habits are needed. What skills do I need to develop? What boundaries do I need to set to protect my time and my energy and my schedule. For real goals. You need to become someone different. Than you are right now. Because the fact that you have a goal. Means that you have a desire for something new or different than what you have right now. You have a desire. For something that you don't have, it's someone who you aren't quite yet. Does that make sense? You don't set a goal to stay in exactly the same place. The fact that you have a goal means that you have a desire for something new or something different. you've probably heard the saying what got you here? Won't get you there. And. Sure. It's a great saying. What it means is you need to grow and change and evolve and learn new things to achieve something new. Because what got you here? All of the skills and the experience and the lessons. They're not going to get you there because you have a goal. That necessarily means you have a desire for something new. And because what got you here? Won't get you there. You have to be willing to grow and change and evolve and learn new things. And that's the beauty of having a goal. It's the evolution of self. It's it's what you're learning. It's who you're becoming. But for throwaway goals. There aren't any of these things you don't have to change or learn or grow at all to achieve a throwaway goal. That's totally not the case with the real goal. So since we're clear on the difference between a throwaway goal and a real goal, you've probably already figured out that the one thing that I asked you. To select the one thing that would have the biggest difference for you make the biggest difference for you in 2024. That is a real goal. It's the one action or decision that could change everything for you. So after listening to that explanation, you might want to go back and change your one thing. If you were one thing was more of a throwaway goal. I urge you to go back, review your notes, pick a new one thing And make sure that one thing is a real goal. Okay. What is your one thing? What is the one action. That you figured out that you could take or one decision that you could make that would change everything for you. What is it? To break this down a little bit further when it comes to an action, it could be starting to do something. Or stopping doing something. Uh, if you're going to start doing something a could be, uh, starting to write the book, you've always wanted to write. It could be starting to learn a new language because you want to vacation somewhere or own a home somewhere and live somewhere. And they speak a different language. So maybe you want to start learning a new language. It could also be stop doing something. Uh, maybe you want to stop smoking. That's your one thing this year, maybe you want to stop working. Um, and by stop working, that could be. Stopping work altogether, or it could be stopping working in the way that you're currently working. That that is a mouthful. So maybe you want to be able to work from anywhere, you know, I've got my laptop. I will travel. But you're currently in an office situation where you need to be in the office 40 hours a week. You'll need to figure out a way to stop doing your job in the office. That likely means spending the next six, eight. 10 months proving to your current employer. That you can get the job done from anywhere. So you can see that the one thing can be starting or stopping something. It could also be making a decision. That could look like. Deciding it's time to end your marriage. Deciding it's time to change careers. Deciding it's time to move to a new town. I have a client. Actually who bought a home in a resort town with the idea that she and her husband would retire there at some point. And then. After after thinking about it for awhile, they decided that instead of waiting until retirement, They wanted to create a lifestyle that would allow them to move. Now when they could enjoy all of the winter activities, the skiing, the snowboarding. And all of the summer activities, the hiking, the golf thing, the fishing. Because they wanted to be healthy. An able bodied enough to enjoy that. They didn't want to wait until they were older. They didn't want to wait until traditional retirement because they wanted to make sure that they were healthy enough to be able to enjoy that lifestyle. Now. And because we worked together and we knew that that's what she wanted. We could get busy creating a plan for her. To help her and her husband changed their working conditions and move to there. Dream house in their resort town that they'd already, they'd already bought the house, but instead of waiting until retirement, They started living the life that they had only dreamt about right away. So for you. What did you decide is the one thing that could change everything for you? What is it? Because. I'm telling you right now, if you focus on that one thing, your life could be totally different. One year from now. One thing don't overcomplicate it by choosing three or four or five things to focus on this year. Choose one. What is the one thing? And don't, don't get confused. Although you choose one thing, there will likely be many parts and pieces. So one thing doesn't mean one tasks. You don't make one decision and your doc. You take that one decision, that one thing, that one action and you break it into bite sized, manageable tasks to complete over the course of the year. So, how do you do that? You take your one thing. Divided up into smaller actions. Schedule them on the calendar. What does that look like? Take your one thing, figure out the sequence you need for achieving your goal. That will likely include smaller, more manageable tasks. Figure out what all of those tasks are. Put them in order in sequence. In order to do X, I have to do Y first in order to do Y I have to do Z. And then put those tasks, those milestones on your calendar, actually take out your calendar and schedule deadlines for the intermediate steps. What by which date will you achieve those intermediate goals? Because where you are now. And when you achieve the one thing. And between those two spots. You'll be once you achieve the one thing, you'll be somewhere else. Let's call it the beginning of the year now. And the end of the year, when you achieve your one thing. Which means there are a number of steps or tasks or deadlines between now, and then we have to figure out what those are and put them on the calendar. I am a visual person. So I have, if you can imagine it a three foot by four foot calendar on my wall. The daily spaces on the calendar. So the space for each day, Is exactly the same size as a small post-it note. And I put every preliminary step between where I am now and what I'll achieve, the thing I put, every one of those. On the calendar. And because they're on post-it notes, I can move the dates around if I need to. If I finish a milestone early, I'll move up the post-it notes. But sometimes I need a little extra time because maybe I underestimated how long something would take or something else has popped up in my life. That that requires my attention. No problem. I'll just move the post-it notes back. If you're like me and you are a visual person. For you all added a clickable link in the show notes to my favorite wall calendar and my favorite post-its. I know, you know, what a post- it looks like, and you don't need a link for that. But I like fancy colors on my wall calendar. And I also like choosing different colors for different parts of my life. So vacation days and one color. Work obligations in another color, the big goals I'm working on in another color. You get, you get the idea. But all add a clickable link in the show notes. It's a system that has worked great for me for the past. I don't know, six years. Uh, being able to look at it, being able to really focus on what is the next task on my list that I have to complete. I think you'll really like it too. This is also exactly what I do with my coaching clients. I take the big thing that they're working on and I break it into smaller, more manageable steps. Planning. I got to say, planning is my superpower. I'm so good with breaking things down into workable steps. You want to run a marathon this year and you've never run a mile. No problem. I've helped many women achieve that goal. You want to quit your job this year? No problem. I've also helped women do that. And the key isn't to just make a decision today. And just assume it will happen. The key is to create the smaller actions to complete along the way. So with my coaching clients, whatever they're working on. We figure out how to break it down into the smaller tasks, which also helps keep the momentum and excitement up. Because, you know, this, there is so much excitement and momentum at the beginning of the year. The, the excitement is high because you've got this prospect of having this new thing of accomplishing this new goal. But that excitement lessons as time goes on. Because the making of the declaration. The stating and the goal, the identifying the one thing. That's the easy part. But then you have to get to work. And as the time between now, when you're identifying the one thing and when you actually achieve it, As that time period gets longer. I'm just going to tell you your excitement and your motivation will go down. The longer it takes, the more you have to be ready to gut it out to double down, to stick with it. Even when you want to stop or give up or, or maybe just delay it for another year, you know, maybe that's maybe it's not supposed to happen in 20, 24. And that's exactly why we need to spread the little actions that add up to the one thing. We spread them over the year. To keep the momentum up to keep the excitement up. And we celebrate every time you pass a milestone. If it still feels a little overwhelming. If you know, you could use some help breaking down the one thing, because maybe it just, it feels a little too big. I mean, I knew I threw a challenge out to you. Pick something big, pay attention to something that scares you. So maybe you accepted the challenge. You chose a big goal. You chose a real goal, which is awesome. It's certainly worthy of notice. Well done. Fantastic. Start. you knew choosing this one thing would absolutely make the biggest impact on your life. Maybe you haven't even admitted it to anyone yet. You haven't said it out loud because. Maybe it's scared you just a little too much. I get it. I've been there in fact, just last week. I had to give my business coach. And all of the members of my business cohort. I had to give them. My revenue goals for 2024, I had to post them in our Facebook group. And my 2024 revenue goals. Our 10 times higher than what I made from the school of midlife in 2023. Talk about a big goal. Talk about a real goal. And I had to make it public. So believe me. I know what it feels like when you put something out there that feels like a huge stretch. And if you're. At the spot where you. You knew that choosing this one thing would absolutely make the biggest impact on your life, but you have absolutely no idea how to get from here to there. I can help you. If you're feeling a little overwhelmed right now, and you don't even know where to start breaking down your goal, reach out to me. I've decided to onboard just a handful of one-on-one clients for January, just to work through this process. We'll take, I don't know, three or four hours virtually, so we can work with your schedule and together we'll figure out what your action plan looks like. So that you can achieve your one thing. We'll we'll end our time together with an actual plan. You'll have a handy to do lists that you can check things off of as you complete them. You'll know exactly what you're doing each quarter. If you want your very own wall calendar. We can work on making that together too. However the time works best for you. I'm not going to announce this publicly though. Well, Other the hen on the podcast where I am on this episode, where I am announcing a publicly. But this isn't something I'm going to publish anywhere else. So. I'm not announcing it publicly. Just a handful of clients. It'll be a half day. If you're in Boise or willing to travel here, we can absolutely do it in person. Otherwise, we'll do it over zoom and you'll get the recording to refer back to whenever you need to, if that sounds like something that you're interested in. send me an email. DM me on Instagram. Just reach out to me and we'll get it on the calendar. Next week we'll wrap up the discussion on goals for 2024 with a review of habits. Hear me when I say this. It's not about the goal that you choose and whether you even achieve it. It's the habits that you build and the person you become along the way of trying to achieve the goal. Next week, we're going to dive into that evolution of self of who you're becoming along the way. As always, I'm so grateful that you were here today. Thanks so much for being with me today on the school of midlife podcast. And i'll see you right back here next week when the school of midlife is back in session until then take care Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the school of mid-life podcast. It means so much to have you here. My mission is to give all women the tools, mindset, shifts, and permission to make midlife their very best life. And I absolutely could not do it without you. Would you help me spread the word about the podcast by going to ratethispodcast.com/schoolofmidlife and leave us a rating. If you can spare a minute, I'd be honored. If you'd leave us a review too. That's ratethispodcast.com/schoolofmidlife. Or you can click the link in the show notes. Thanks so much for being here. I'll see you back here next week when the school of midlife is back in session